{"id":12516,"date":"2023-01-21T17:44:36","date_gmt":"2023-01-21T17:44:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=12516"},"modified":"2023-01-21T17:46:15","modified_gmt":"2023-01-21T17:46:15","slug":"komedy-klub-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2023\/01\/21\/komedy-klub-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Komedy Klub 2<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I like women’s football as much as the next guy <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I take my kids down to see the Refuge Ladies every Sunday <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The standard is shit but what more can you expect <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is like watching five years olds chase a ball in the dark  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there are other things that trouble me <\/p>\n\n\n\n

White shorts <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why would I be worried by white shorts you might ask <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is because of something I read which disturbed me <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For many years West Brom have worn a mainly white kit <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But now the Lady Broms do not want to wear the white shorts <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is because when Liverpool visits them once a month it causes embarrassment <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is no secret girls we all know when you are on the rag <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have lost count of the number of times that I have returned from long trips\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking like somebody has punched me on the mouth <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even the national side are getting in on the act <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I used to play for St Mungo’s we wore an all white kit <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In honour of Real Madrid <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Football was tough in those days and quite often my legs were cut to ribbons by high tackles <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It often went on to my white shorts <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Did I mind <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like Hell I did <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We just got on with things instead of acting like a bunch of poofs <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another thing that worries me is why lady footballers rarely get pregnant<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why as some are so fucking attractive that their men must be itching <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What contraceptive do they use <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It must be good and I could make a fortune in developing countries if only I knew what it was <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are they married to Jesuit priests <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a complete mystery to me <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of the female footballers are fucking ugly (you know who you are) and their barrenness in understandable <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But have you seen the Swedish or Italian sides <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would fuck them all including the substitutes <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But rarely do they exhibit the bump <\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHY <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is God holding something back <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also while I am thinking about it do their boyfriends and hubbys see them play <\/p>\n\n\n\n

No <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mens football is very simple as there are very few mysteries <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But women’s football is full of them <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I am ever reincarnated I will come back as a female goalkeeper <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I was a shit male goalkeeper and was heavily criticised <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if I played in the women’s game it would not be noticed <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I like women’s football as much as the next guy  I take my kids down to see the Refuge Ladies every Sunday  The standard is shit but what more can you expect  It is like watching five years olds chase a ball in the dark   But there are other things that trouble me  White shorts  Why […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12516","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12516","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12516"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12516\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12518,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12516\/revisions\/12518"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12516"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12516"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12516"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}