I often experience an existential crisis <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well at least once a day <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My most recent was in Milan yesterday <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And involved light food poisoning <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I had eaten shellfish at a business meeting <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One should never eat shellfish at corporate events <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a very posh hotel with some very important customers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I need not enlarge on what food poisoning does to you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even if you are unlucky enough not to die in agony <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I retired to the rest room of angels which was so posh <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That real estate was being sold near the bidets <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was here that not to put it too lightly <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had my Hiroshima moment a genuine Hiroshima moment <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then it was over I felt much better and considerably lighter <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few seconds later my problems started as the flush was broken <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The flush was really broken I tried weeping into the pan to dispose of the debris <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that did not work I made myself vomit but only caused the situation to worsen <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A Hit and Run was my only solution because the rest room was perfumed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A person entering this religious palace would not be aware of any odour <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I cleaned myself thoroughly and left the decaying shellfish in the pool <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that was the start of my problems as for the rest of the afternoon <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was deep in the midst of an existential crisis and began questioning God <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there was no answer as it was the seventh day of the seventh week in June <\/p>\n\n\n\n
From my vantage I watched my colleagues enter the restroom and not return <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My thoughts faded back to my days on national service and the massacres <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh those awful massacres after which no cat dog or hamster remained breathing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To come clean and end this latest existential crisis I confessed to the Hit and Run <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it was too late as I was the last remaining member of this once great company <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All the rest were dead and I was trapped in this room with two of the ghosts <\/p>\n\n\n\n
McNally from Business Opportunities and Mr Sly from Bee Enterprises in Kyoto <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I often experience an existential crisis Well at least once a day My most recent was in Milan yesterday And involved light food poisoning As I had eaten shellfish at a business meeting One should never eat shellfish at corporate events It was a very posh hotel with some very important customers I need not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12751","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12751"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12751\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12765,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12751\/revisions\/12765"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}