Stan why do I always find a pair of my panties under your pillow <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because I like to be close to you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can keep a pair of my pants under your pillow if you like <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It really fucks me off Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am a busy girl Stan and I find it really annoying <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is a sign of love <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know how choosy I am about my underwear <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pay a great deal for my bras and panties <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And you treat them as toys <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yesterday after I had showered<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was looking for some panties<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As Lucy had invited us to the gallery <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes us Stan and Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But you could not be bothered and fucked off to West Ham <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They need all the support they can get at present <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Also the show at Lucy’s gallery was a total waste of time <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lucy is my best friend <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have to put up with the neanderthals that you insist I meet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have known Lucy since Roedean <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really I do like your friend <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like hell you are always trying to upset her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tease her because of her politics that is all <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She does not think and is led by others <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is why I shoot her down <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She has cried because of you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are cruel <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is a poet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I cannot remember his name who notes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am only but your reflection if you do not like what you see then turn away<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I totally agree with him <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am Lucy’s mirror although I would rather not be Lucy’s mirror <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do not be cruel Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She is rather large even you have to admit that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And now she has pronouns after her name <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is a madness <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Theatre of the Absurd <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you still love me Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes on Tuesdays and Fridays <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then why did you make such a fuss about the gallery <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because it was a second rate artist <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With little or no talent <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was chosen for other reasons <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Those being <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was chosen because of where he was born and because he was a trendy queer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I should know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Know what <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why this chap is a fraud <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lucy and Dick are frauds <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are plenty of incredibly talented unknown artists out there <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But they are just straightforward artists <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is not trendy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember Jane I studied Art History at college <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are just an opinionated shit Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would you like me to treat you to some new panties <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anything you like <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Primark maybe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
OUCH <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why did you do that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because you are a cunt Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why a cunt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You get under my skin <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All your pathetic mind games <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was being serious <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you are running out of panties then I will buy you some more <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As long as you let me keep my favourite ones under my pillow <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is no need I have plenty of pairs thank you very much <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then why are you moaning <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am not moaning <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They are my property <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Given <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You have no right to retain them <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you remember when we met <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What about it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you remember I asked you send me some of your pubic hair in the post <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a love gift <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like Byron and Caroline Lamb <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I still have the envelope in my box of treasures along with my George Best autograph and another pair of your panties <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The used ones <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How gross <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They were the first pair of panties that you gave me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You told me that they were wet with your desire <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They have been in there ever since <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It must smell like a canning factory in there <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It does <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But when I handle them I can almost hear the music of the song thrush <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are very sick Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thank you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jane I have a whizzo idea <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That being <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In future when you run out of panties <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Either wash them more often <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thin ice Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or go commando <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I sometimes do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But just think what I wear <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You wear nice clothes Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I dress you well <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thin ice <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I love cotton dresses <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And what you might call short skirts <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think that I have lovely legs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unlike Lucy’s tree trunks <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I agree you are rather lucky <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can you not see the disadvantages <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Upskirting <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember we use the tubes frequently <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are perverts who upskirt you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They film you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought it was illegal <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the cops have fuck all else to do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I might end up on a porno website<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wow give me the address <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Janescunt.com <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That would be fantastic <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I like not wearing anything underneath especially during the warmer months <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is so liberating <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The trouble is that you forget <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was at Bernard Next to the Thames <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I noticed a chap looking up my skirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As men do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was then I realised that I was wearing my tartan skirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My favourite <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that he knew that I was a natural blonde <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did he disappear to the gender neutral bogs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No you showed up <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But and do not make fun of me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am all ears <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It actually turned me on <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jane whatever would God say <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Seriously I felt so dirty <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is the upmost male fantasy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That and two beautiful gay girls together <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stan life is not like your French movies <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Betty Blue <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Betty who <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And Blue is the Warmest Colour <\/p>\n\n\n\n
These are my favourites <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stan I have just let you into my inner life and all you can do is take the piss <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you think that you are telling me anything that I do not already know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So why do we argue Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because I am a cunt and you are a bitch <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is why we stay together <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is a success story I think <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stan & Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Stan why do I always find a pair of my panties under your pillow Because I like to be close to you You can keep a pair of my pants under your pillow if you like It really fucks me off Stan I am a busy girl Stan and I find it really annoying It […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13061","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13061","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13061"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13061\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13064,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13061\/revisions\/13064"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}