{"id":13265,"date":"2023-03-09T13:30:52","date_gmt":"2023-03-09T13:30:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=13265"},"modified":"2023-03-09T13:42:35","modified_gmt":"2023-03-09T13:42:35","slug":"stan-jane-go-to-a-football-match","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/09\/stan-jane-go-to-a-football-match\/","title":{"rendered":"Stan &#038; Jane go to a Football Match"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Home at last <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Did you enjoy yourself Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Very much <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I do like women&#8217;s football <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is softer than men&#8217;s football <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is no violence in the crowd and all those dreadful songs <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What dreadful songs <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You know the ones <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I went to the West Ham Chelsea match with you last season <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They called the Chelsea players Rent Boys <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some of them are <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And the abuse of the black players is so unfair <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have heard some saying it affects their mental health <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So does getting your head blown off in the Ukraine <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I do not approve of it but I would rather they sang rude songs <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Than see violence on the trains and in the streets <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sticks and stones I can see where you are coming from <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But I disagree with you <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is why the game today was so refreshing <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What did you think of it Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have always thought women&#8217;s football to be a poor product <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What do you mean <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It lacks the intensity of the mans game and is a lot slower <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Really I think that a decent non league side could take this England side to the cleaners <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Women are physically weaker than men and suffer from injuries that are less common in the male game<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Girls are built differently<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am not saying that it is no good but just recognise its place in the food chain <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At grass roots level it is good that girls can play football as sports like football and rugger help you to function as a team <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is important <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I played at a quite high level and although I am quite individualistic by nature I was very much a team player <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You were mainly a goalkeeper <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Were you any good <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No that is why I played at a higher level in that position than in any other position  on the field <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sarky Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Also that is another criticism I have about women&#8217;s football <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What is that <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have yet to see a decent female goalkeeper <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Women are the wrong shape <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They are not natural goalkeepers <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The England goalkeeper made some good saves <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They were run of the mill saves Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some of the outfield players have a degree of skill <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But only at this level <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is a mistake to believe otherwise <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is cruel Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Seriously I think you are wrong <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But their boyfriends and husbands must be proud of them <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why are you smiling Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stop grinning at me <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You are so innocent Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why do you say that <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stan you are pissing me off <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most of the players are married to each other <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Come again <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They are gay girls <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dykes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What is wrong with that <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nothing but I do not take it seriously <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Women&#8217;s football is a confectionery <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nice to look at wrapped in bright colours <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But not remembered for that long <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I think that I might look for a ladies team <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is a good idea Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But I think that you would be a better rugby player <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I like rugger and enjoy our games in Bath <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Take that look off of your face Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I mean Bath your home city <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remember you lived near there <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Really I thought I was from Glasgow <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stop taking the piss Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am not taking the piss <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">All I was saying is whilst I do enjoy football I do prefer rugger <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Playing fields of England and Empire <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No not that<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I just like the physicality of it all<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Thirty sweaty bodies rolling around in the mud <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">End of conversation Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Would you be able to get some England tickets again <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Possibly I can pull some strings <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I love going to Twickenham <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is great fun <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I could wear my England shirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And my lovely jeans <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I feel good in that style <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You look very chic Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And then if you are a good boy I might walk around in our apartment wearing nothing but my England shirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My favourite <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You said that you thought I would be more suited to playing rugby than football <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But what do you think my best position would be <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Hooker <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why Hooker <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am I not too slight <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">STAN <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is not funny <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You do not take me seriously <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Make your own dinner <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We ate out do you not remember <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">OUCH JANE THAT HURT <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I can bite also you know <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Where are you going <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To the spare room <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To hang out with Penny <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do not disturb me <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Is there something going on with you two <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I see <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just enquiring <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You would love that <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Only if you wore your rugger shirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">SLAM <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am sleeping in the spare room <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Suit yourself <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Home at last Did you enjoy yourself Jane Very much I do like women&#8217;s football It is softer than men&#8217;s football There is no violence in the crowd and all those dreadful songs What dreadful songs You know the ones When I went to the West Ham Chelsea match with you last season They called [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13265"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13265\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13268,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13265\/revisions\/13268"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}