{"id":1327,"date":"2014-11-29T12:28:05","date_gmt":"2014-11-29T12:28:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=1327"},"modified":"2014-11-29T12:28:05","modified_gmt":"2014-11-29T12:28:05","slug":"cuba-betty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2014\/11\/29\/cuba-betty\/","title":{"rendered":"Cuba Betty"},"content":{"rendered":"

One <\/b><\/p>\n

Cuba Betty paddled in the sea<\/p>\n

Searching for starfish<\/p>\n

But found none<\/p>\n

So she designed a railway<\/p>\n

Two <\/b><\/p>\n

Cuba Betty travelled to Scotland<\/p>\n

Hoping to witness an Egyptian mirage<\/p>\n

But saw only a Scottish one<\/p>\n

To celebrate her disappointment<\/p>\n

She purchased a blue pencil factory<\/p>\n

Three <\/b><\/p>\n

Cuba Betty lusted after her brother<\/p>\n

But he did not lust after her<\/p>\n

In her deep sorrow she began to eat primroses<\/p>\n

Which promoted indigestion<\/p>\n

Four <\/b><\/p>\n

Cuba Betty often favoured masturbation<\/p>\n

When tired and wretched<\/p>\n

It gave her the chance<\/p>\n

To consider London buses<\/p>\n

In poor weather<\/p>\n

Five <\/b><\/p>\n

Cuba Betty named her right wrist<\/p>\n

Betty Cuba<\/p>\n

But she did not name her other wrist<\/p>\n

Which was the root of its jealousy<\/p>\n

Six <\/b><\/p>\n

Cuba Betty had three breasts<\/p>\n

She let her friends play with two of them<\/p>\n

But kept the other for herself<\/p>\n

Seven \u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Cuba Betty left her favourite slippers<\/p>\n

On the overnight sleeper to Penzance<\/p>\n

Her sadness was so great<\/p>\n

That she wore black for the rest of her life<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One Cuba Betty paddled in the sea Searching for starfish But found none So she designed a railway Two Cuba Betty travelled to Scotland Hoping to witness an Egyptian mirage But saw only a Scottish one To celebrate her disappointment She purchased a blue pencil factory Three Cuba Betty lusted after her brother But he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1327"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1327"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1327\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}