{"id":14283,"date":"2023-05-15T09:33:59","date_gmt":"2023-05-15T08:33:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=14283"},"modified":"2023-05-15T12:44:23","modified_gmt":"2023-05-15T11:44:23","slug":"lucien-and-the-dish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2023\/05\/15\/lucien-and-the-dish\/","title":{"rendered":"Lucien and the Dish"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucian had a satellite dish in his garden <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Between the roses and the cherry tree <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He called it Roland and thought it was a fish <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucian was a fish but thought he was a dish <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(this is an easy mistake to make)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the movie Am\u00e9lie<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am\u00e9lie<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am\u00e9lie Poulain (to give her her full name) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Had a pet goldfish <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This goldfish was related to Lucien <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Which made him very happy <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As he was deeply in love with Am\u00e9lie Poulain<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He dreamt of lying naked in bed with her <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">After serious sessions of multiple lovemaking <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And discussing existentialism as they stared at the ceiling <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But this was never going to happen as he was a fish <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(there were also no satellite dishes in the movie)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But unrequited love is better than no love he thought <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And began to accept life for what it was <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A continuous exploration of the universe and beyond <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He might once and for all prove or disprove the existence of God<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucien believed in God as he had created Am\u00e9lie Poulain<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He had also created grain sacks <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Cr%C3%A8me_br%C3%BBl%C3%A9e\">cr\u00e8me br\u00fbl\u00e9e<\/a> and the Canal Saint-Martin <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That was enough for Lucien so he developed a series of faults <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Which so irritated the owners of the dish that they decommissioned it <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was now a nest for crows jackdaws and wrens and a ski slope for robins <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One day without warning there was a knock at Lucian&#8217;s door <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He had been renovating his aquatic castle and was expecting no visitors <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucian opened the door and there stood Am\u00e9lie Poulain in her summer frock<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(so simple and so very chic French women certainly know how to dress) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She told him that she had tired of Paris as it was full of rubbish sacks<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Riots were commonplace (except on Sundays) and people were wearing gilets jaunes (yellow vests) which were crimes against fashion <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am\u00e9lie Poulain then removed her shoes displaying her narrow feet<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(an ingenue with narrow feet now fully displayed) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucien knew that he was happier than he had ever been <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She asked him whether she might stay in his Sussex cottage <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He said that she was more than welcome <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am\u00e9lie Poulain smiled and her raven eyes grew bigger <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(she was even more beautiful than his ruby roses) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But there was a small problem as the cottage had only one bedroom <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucien said that he would sleep on the settee <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Which was instantly refused as she said that she would be happy to share his bed<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At that moment two thoughts passed through Lucian&#8217;s fish brain <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Firstly that he was dead as goldfish live short lives (was this heaven he asked)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But his strongest thought was his belief in God <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He was glad that the dish was redundant<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For even if God did not exist he wanted to think that God existed<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Was Am\u00e9lie Poulain his own manifestation of God <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(questions questions questions just be happy with the moment you silly fish)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucian pointed to the dish and told her that he thought he was a dish but deep down knew that satellite dishes did not exist in goldfish bowls <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">His visitor walked into the garden and enquired why the dish was rusting <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucian explained the reason why <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is a God she explained which no satellite dish could prove or disprove <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">God is in your heart <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not in your head<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucian considered this thought and did not hear Am\u00e9lie Poulain when she asked if she might take a bath <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The journey had been long and sweaty <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She wanted to refresh herself <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can bathe with me Lucian and I promise only to use pristine water as I know that soaps and crystals might harm you <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just swim at your leisure and I promise to be careful <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I will not sit on you<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">( censored )<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If God exists then why has he not manifested himself to me or anyone in particular and why has Jesus not popped down for a chat or a coffee <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It has been over two thousand years <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lucian presumed that the limits of his consciousness were the limits of his understanding <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am\u00e9lie Poulain spoke to him from the bathroom window and told him to get a move on as the bathwater was cooling <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(it is presumed that goldfish prefer cold water but this has never been proved)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(FIN)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am\u00e9lie Poulain<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lucian had a satellite dish in his garden Between the roses and the cherry tree He called it Roland and thought it was a fish Lucian was a fish but thought he was a dish (this is an easy mistake to make) In the movie Am\u00e9lie Am\u00e9lie Am\u00e9lie Poulain (to give her her full name) [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14283","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14283"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14283\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14290,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14283\/revisions\/14290"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14283"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14283"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14283"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}