Stan as you know I love you very much <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are everything to me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there is a side to you that I do not like <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is it my supposed racism <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My supposed homophobia <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Again not really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I say this with a baby brain you know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do not shoot me down in flames <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I understand your reasons <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are a deep thinker <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I may disagree with you about certain things but I know that you are clear in your thoughts <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there is one thing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pray tell Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fairies <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fairies <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are cruel to fairies <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cruel to fairies <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How can I be cruel to fairies <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes they the irritate the crap out of me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wearing such ridiculous fashions <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They are not real men <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stan stop there <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am sorry I trust I have not upset you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Far from it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have written fairy stories for bump <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stan a moment <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is a perfect beer garden in a perfect Gloucestershire village and with luck we will be able to live here<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am so happy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there is one thing that I hate about you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am all ears<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is your habit of placing lightly stained cups in the sink and filling them with hot water and fairy liquid <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I dread looking in the sink <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hate it as much as you hate looking at effeminate men <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It makes my skin crawl <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you know how much Fairy Liquid costs now <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No should I <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is jolly expensive <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bloody Hell I never knew that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fuck Wittgenstein <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fuck Nietzsche <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fuck all philosophers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now that I know that Fairy Liquid has increased in price <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two and Two will always equal four no matter what other idiots say <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is so set in stone <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know where you are going Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
New rule <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nice Stan in Gloucestershire <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Confine the other Stan to our London apartment <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you agree <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What are you doing Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am writing a short poem on the napkin <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is okay not to be okay<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it is better to be okay<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As okay is better<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Than not okay<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stan you can be such a cunt but you are a caring cunt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am a shrew <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are not a shrew <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Baby brain I am sorry <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stop there Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We should never apologise to each other <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rule One <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is Rule Two <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To buy a different type of washing up liquid <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A cheaper brand <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It will be Fairy Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And you can fill up the whole fucking bowl with the stuff <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your cups will be cleaner than a nuns thoughts <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And who knows you might find that you will grow to tolerate fairies <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is no chance of that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
God is not pleased <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your round Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only a soft drink Jane as I do not want the bump getting pissed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We might have to hurry Stan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because we are within a hour of our train <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not a problem <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because I have just booked The Rose <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We will travel back tomorrow <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before we go I will buy you some Fairy Liquid <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two bottles<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All for you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You will able to soak your cups <\/p>\n\n\n\n
While you watch the trains<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Stan as you know I love you very much You are everything to me But there is a side to you that I do not like What is that Is it my supposed racism Not really My supposed homophobia Again not really And I say this with a baby brain you know Do not shoot […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15047"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15047\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15050,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15047\/revisions\/15050"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}