{"id":15389,"date":"2023-07-17T07:20:42","date_gmt":"2023-07-17T06:20:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=15389"},"modified":"2023-07-17T07:39:09","modified_gmt":"2023-07-17T06:39:09","slug":"la-bete-dort","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2023\/07\/17\/la-bete-dort\/","title":{"rendered":"La Bete Dort"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<pre id=\"tw-target-text\" class=\"wp-block-preformatted\">I was called La B\u00eate Dort\n\nBecause of my height \n\nI had a great deal of body hair \n\nWhich added to the legend \n\nI was so tall that I could not stretch \n\nIn the tiny bath or with any of my flatmates \n\nThey would come into the bathroom \n\nTo either shit or piss or just to stare at me \n\nA neanderthal jammed in the bath \n\nI had many offers from Anne Julie and Lemmy \n\nTo share my bath which was an impossible task \n\nThey called me The Incredible Hulk \n\nAnd although they were by no means vulnerable \n\nMy flatmates looked on me to protect them \n\nWhich was not helped on the occasions \n\nWhen a chap that they had met forgot his manners \n\nI would ask them quietly to leave without fuss\n\nBut if this was refused or abuse was received \n\nThe inevitable would happen which I would later regret\n\nThe Safety of Objects was my first novel \n\nFollowed soon after by Visible but Invisible \n\nI am working on my third book La B\u00eate Dort which is about \n\nA giant of a man who knows that he cannot find love \n\nSo he decides to enter the church which proves \n\nTo be a big mistake as his country is invaded \n\nAnd he is asked to fight which he does successfully \n\nThe hostilities cease and he is much decorated \n\nWhich he hates as he hates war and does not wish \n\nTo celebrate it as he thinks of himself as a man of peace \n\nBut fate does not leave him alone as a woman is murdered \n\nBy an illegal immigrant so he goes on a rampage \n\nHe knows this is wrong but he blood is boiling \n\nAgain in certain quarters he is celebrated \n\nBut he ignores this and is last seen \n\nSitting in bath in the Animal House \n\nWith his beloved flatmates teasing him \n\nAnd asking him whether if they make themselves \n\nVery small that they might share his meagre bath \n\n \n\n\n\n<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was called La B\u00eate Dort Because of my height I had a great deal of body hair Which added to the legend I was so tall that I could not stretch In the tiny bath or with any of my flatmates They would come into the bathroom To either shit or piss or just [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15389","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15389"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15389\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15396,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15389\/revisions\/15396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15389"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15389"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15389"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}