What are you smiling at Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The advert of my phone <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why is it funny <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not intentionally <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is an ad for the sleeper trains <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To where <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cornwall <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paddington to Penzance <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is normally hell <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I Know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Too crowded and those fucking trolley cases <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But according to the ad this is different <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everything is nice <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You do not normally like corporate ads <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Too slick and up their own arse <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This ad is no different <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So why the humour <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because there is a comment <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which makes it more human <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As the girl apologises to the locals <\/p>\n\n\n\n
From fuck knows where <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For flashing her boobs whilst having a wash at the sink <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I always think of Calypso on sleeper trains <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Asleep in her bunk with her enormous breasts<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Moving with the motion of the train <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What was the movie called <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Camomile Lawn <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a television series Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You have a lot in common with Calypso <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In what way <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you not remember the camp site <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What camp site <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The site near St Ives <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes I knew that you would bring that up <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You became too warm as we were putting the tent up <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You removed your sweater <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You tee shirt came off too <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You continued working totally unaware <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That your Calypso’s were on display <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had to tell you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what people go topless on the beaches <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But this was a campsite in the middle of nowhere <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We were offered tea by that nice young couple <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The people from Stoke I believe were a little shocked <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was during that holiday that I learnt some Cornish <\/p>\n\n\n\n
From postcards you lightweight <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wrote a series of poems in Cornish <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And yes they were published blah blah blah <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I watched the moon and thought of the moon landing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Forty years previously<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The moon was singing to me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And you wrote a poem blah blah blah <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are being very objectionable today Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can remember that the campsite owner said<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How we resembled each other <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You said we were identical twins <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think he was a little uncomfortable <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because of our closeness <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of how when I start a sentence you finish it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are also a very touchy person <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you going to book the sleeper for us then <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I will flash Taunton and maybe Truro if you are a good boy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everything <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everything will cost you a cream tea Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you sure <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I will buy you a coffee instead <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fuck you Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And some nibbles <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Right I am wearing my pjs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The ones you hate <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I will read <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is up to you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But can we visit Lands End again <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know the price Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I will simulate sex with a dalek <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What about a Yeti <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are my Yeti <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really I always thought I was K9 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What are you smiling at Joe The advert of my phone Why is it funny Not intentionally It is an ad for the sleeper trains To where Cornwall Paddington to Penzance It is normally hell I Know Too crowded and those fucking trolley cases But according to the ad this is different Everything is nice […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16846","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16846","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16846"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16846\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16849,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16846\/revisions\/16849"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16846"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16846"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16846"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}