I once told my geography teacher <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That she was emotionally constipated <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When she asked me what I meant <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I told her that she was full of shit<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was suspended for that remark <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few months after I returned I was sent off <\/p>\n\n\n\n
During a rugby match against St Piran’s School <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My crime was that I told the referee <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To learn the rules of the game <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This was the first ever dismissal <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of a Headle Chase rugby player in over sixty years <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(do they really keep fucking records I enquired) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This time I was expelled and my father <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sent me to The Douglas School where I excelled<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was whilst I was there that I discovered Art History <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And although I had no real artistic talent <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I understood the theory perfectly <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I went to Cambridge following the subject <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And again I excelled and wrote important papers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But my true love was poetry just poetry alone<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that is why you find me still unmarried <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Living incestuously with my identical twin<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In a small town in Dorset not far from the coast <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I once told my geography teacher That she was emotionally constipated When she asked me what I meant I told her that she was full of shit I was suspended for that remark A few months after I returned I was sent off During a rugby match against St Piran’s School My crime was that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16959","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16959"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16959\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16964,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16959\/revisions\/16964"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16959"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16959"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16959"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}