{"id":17883,"date":"2023-12-04T11:55:17","date_gmt":"2023-12-04T11:55:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=17883"},"modified":"2023-12-04T15:22:31","modified_gmt":"2023-12-04T15:22:31","slug":"love-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/04\/love-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Story"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What are you doing today <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am going to have a wank <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Read Dostoevsky<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And take you out to dinner <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No mention of a fuck there Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You are on the rag Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Thanks I might not have noticed <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My pleasure <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I had a dream <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Wet <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No dry <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was conscripted into the army <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Which I did not approve of one bit <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But the savages were not that far away <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was not so bad as I told them I was an artist <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The set up was a little strange though <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As each of the chaps in my group <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Was paired off with a female soldier <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was paired off with a Kathy Jones<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Who came from a town in Surrey <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Was she attractive <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not really <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She was half and half <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nice tits but rather plain <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Better than mine <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just bigger <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She had a fat arse though <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And was rather too hairy in places <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A safe on Tooting Common type of girl <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">More or less <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But more of a safe in Hyde Park type of girl <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Really a Spoons compared with a Maccy D <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why was she there <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because she liked killing people from overseas <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Overseas <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Certain countries if you get my drift<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But she hated guns <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"> Like me she was an artist <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Useless at everything else <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But she had an artists eye <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Was she better than you <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Very much<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I can paint but really I am a poet<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We were a great team <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The rule was no romance no fucking <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You just watched each others backs <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Which was not nice as she was pear shaped<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Have I a nice arse Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is boyish and very fuckable <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But you are not going to seduce me <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is quite natural Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So is vomiting <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You are such a natural Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So smooth <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I thought you liked being dirty<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have my limits Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just take a cold shower <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or look at photographs of fat people <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You are near a slap Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That will not work either <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your dream <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Where was I <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You were in the army Joe<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Oh yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Well they found a use for us quite quickly <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A poet and an artist<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you remember WW2<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What was that <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It came after WW1 and before WW3 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Oh that one <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you remember the photos of the bombs <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Should I <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What did you notice <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That they killed and maimed people <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then what <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They had messages on them <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Well that was our job <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or at least the job in my dream <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I would create the messages <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And Kathy would paint likenesses of the cities <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That we were about to flatten <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chew on this you Black Cunts was a typical creation of mine<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kathy would paint before and after representations <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Of their towns and cities <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Deserts were so easy to paint <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But she has to be careful with the architectural detail <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When painting cityscapes as accuracy was very important <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No fucker would care Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They would not read your pithy comments either <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was our secret weapon <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It would win the war <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then what happened <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I woke up <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sad <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I had had a wet dream <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ugh <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You do not moan when I shower you <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is different <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because you are thinking of me in your dreams <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Which is nice <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not killing thousands in far off lands <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You have a point <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">War is Hell Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I agree <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But some people get a sexual pleasure from it <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just look at Action Man <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am more of a Faggot Man myself Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You know the dolls with an anal facility <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tuesday <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What about Tuesday <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I should be finished by them <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Will you still smell Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do not be a cunt Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am in London on Tuesday <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What about Friday <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am having my bikini line done <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But you are shaven <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That just shows how long you have been away <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sunday after Church then Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am on the bell rota but I am sure I can change that <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Shit <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Julie is coming for dinner <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then she can watch <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or better still join in <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not a good idea Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because the last time we did that <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You ignored us fucking and watched football on your laptop <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was very exciting <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Penalty shootout <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is what I love about you Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You have a Sapphic sister <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But you prefer football <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And rugger Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What is wrong with you <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am a man <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just a normal man<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What are you doing today I am going to have a wank Read Dostoevsky And take you out to dinner No mention of a fuck there Joe You are on the rag Josie Thanks I might not have noticed My pleasure I had a dream Wet No dry I was conscripted into the army Which [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17883"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17883\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17888,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17883\/revisions\/17888"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}