I was going to to be dramatic and write <\/p>\n\n\n\n
By the time you read this I will be dead <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which is obviously wrong as I am currently writing this puerile shit <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had now reached middle age (aka the suicide years )<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You read about it often in the papers MA guys going missing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only to be found floating in a river or rotting in a lay by <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Hunter Gatherer is no more the MA guy is a spent force <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was a country lad born and bred and do not remember this <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Happening that often in those far off halcyon days <\/p>\n\n\n\n
True the odd farmer would put a shotgun into his mouth <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And send his brains spinning into the next county <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But then most farmers are strange hysterical creatures <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Prone to melancholy and other sadnesses of the mind <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Typically if a yokel went missing then one would find him <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Either between the thighs of a local slag or drunk in a haystack <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But today everything is more malignant as good men just vanish <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the surface little is wrong but under that surface much is wrong <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is not just the lonely men or the saddos who haunt the streets and pubs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A suicide could just as easily be a CEO or a good man late of a scrapheap <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He leaves his wife for a young piece of cunt but she kicks him out <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And when he returns to his wife she does the same thing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He finds sympathy in the bottle and loses his grip with reality <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes this man ends up on the streets hungry and cold <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes in a solitary room in an anonymous town or city <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then it happens they tire of their putrid existence <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have simplified this greatly as there are many causes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It once happened to me and I decided to jump under a train <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But being a total cunt I chose the day when the comrades were striking <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I considered a high cliff but I chickened out as I suffer from height sickness <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My next thought was suicide by pigs but ****** ****** was out of the country <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And to be honest I do not think that they would have cared if I had shot the cunt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I became bored of the idea of suicide as I did not consider it chic or fashionable <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I decide to get a grip and have a shit and a shave <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before going out and and beating the crap out of those who offended me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I then went to HMV in Oxford Street to buy a two disc DVD <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With the birthday money that my little sister had sent me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I chose my favourite movie Death Wish with Charles Bronson as Paul Kersey <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And after the take away arrived I spent a great deal of time with the vigilante <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As he rampaged around NYC blowing away niggers and other creatures <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was strange but I felt much much better I was happy again really happy<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I purchased a pretty dress and a powerful gun and began to find others <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who like me who favoured wearing dresses and ended their filthy perverted lives <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And after I had made Laura Ashley very unfashionable I began to kill faggots <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What fun I was having as I am neither a pervert or a queer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am just a normal guy who likes football and watching dykes fucking<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Daily Mail even ran an article about me and I was rated <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With a 91% approval rating which was a satisfying response <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As it told me that Joe Public hated the approved infestation <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of faggots niggers and the peads who dressed as women <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was although completely nuts executing a public service <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then it all ended when after killing another chick with a dick <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was shot in the leg by a another chap wearing a dress similar to mine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I returned fire and killed it\/him\/her and later found out <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I had actually killed the famous serial killer of serial killers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then things turned very strange as after confessing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To being a very bad boy I was hidden away in a private hospital <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To recover from my wound which although it fucking hurt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was pretty harmless as the other serial killer was a rotten shot <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was not arrested as the state saw a use for me as although <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was a loose cannon middle aged and a little depressed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was highly intelligent and very organised and would not have <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Been caught if I had not run into the SKOSK in that dark alley <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was told that I would be free to go on my way if I committed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another assassination this time of a politician much hated by decent people <\/p>\n\n\n\n
****** ****** was the intended target which made me very happy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the day of the assassination due to an admin error his protection <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would not be show up and it was my job to terminate this filthy cunt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
After that and as long as as I was a good boy and did not kill again <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would be able to return to my job as an architect in the City <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This seemed a good deal especially as I was fully recovered <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Architects are are strange but happy creatures
Joe<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was going to to be dramatic and write By the time you read this I will be dead Which is obviously wrong as I am currently writing this puerile shit I had now reached middle age (aka the suicide years ) You read about it often in the papers MA guys going missing Only […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17924","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17924"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17924\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17932,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17924\/revisions\/17932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}