Joe what is you favourite childhood memory <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have many but one really sticks out <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As you know I am a country lad and grew up loving all creatures <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even pikeys<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes even pikeys<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I really just had one favourite <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was it the foxes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sabre Tooth Tigers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You only find them in cities <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Slugs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not even warm <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then tell me Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pigeons I loved pigeons <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Uncle Frank raced them as a hobby <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But they always either lost or fucked off to the South of France <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I used to help him out with the housekeeping of his pigeons <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And shared his excitement when they returned in one piece <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One was even given to me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How nice <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did you call him <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rufus <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did he win any races <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Farmer Jones shot him for shitting on his daughter on her wedding day <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How sad were you angry <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes very <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did you do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I burnt his barn down farm machinery and all <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was he pissed off with you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No he blamed God <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What happened <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He killed himself <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tractor off a cliff <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did not know that God could drive a tractor <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No silly it was Farmer Jones who killed himself <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But back to the question <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My favourite childhood memory was Trafalgar Square with all its pigeons <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There were so many different breeds <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was in heaven <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The pigeons were incredibly tame and sat on your arms as you fed them <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Daddy took so many photographs of Josie and I which I still have <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What about when they shit on you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did that upset you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I treated it as a blessing my friend <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then it happened <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What happened <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The pigeons and the chaps who sold the food were outlawed one day<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By a cunt who said that they were like rats with wings <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was no argument <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was his way or no way <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was rather Stalinist <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Need I say more <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What was his name <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I chose not to remember it Pete <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think it was Henry Morton Stanley or something <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I never forgave him <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As only God forgives you know<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where is he now <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In a place where I am pleased to find him<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I forgot about him for many years <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But recently read a story in a newspaper <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Noting that he was suffering from a terminal disease <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How dreadful for him <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I still wake up crying <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What disease is it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am not sure of its name <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your brain goes to mush <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sufferers spend their days thinking that they are a rosebush <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or a slip road off of the M62<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are really cut up about it Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am under the doctor<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lucky you is she attractive <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Plain face but tits to die for <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yours <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mine is a faggot <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is bad luck <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have had a painful boil on my arse <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But prefer the pain to visiting Dr Julian <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you want me to look at it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought you would never ask <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is what straight friends are for <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I agree <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I might even shower <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before you examine me
Joe & Pete <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Joe what is you favourite childhood memory I have many but one really sticks out As you know I am a country lad and grew up loving all creatures Even pikeys Yes even pikeys But I really just had one favourite Was it the foxes No Sabre Tooth Tigers You only find them in cities […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18738","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18738","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18738"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18738\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18743,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18738\/revisions\/18743"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18738"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18738"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18738"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}