{"id":1875,"date":"2015-10-24T10:36:58","date_gmt":"2015-10-24T10:36:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=1875"},"modified":"2015-10-24T10:48:10","modified_gmt":"2015-10-24T10:48:10","slug":"welcome-on-board","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2015\/10\/24\/welcome-on-board\/","title":{"rendered":"Welcome On Board"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>When Robert Returned from Goa <\/b><\/p>\n<p>He brought me a phial of opaque sand<\/p>\n<p>Sandra received a toy bear dressed as a sailor hailing from Cornwall<\/p>\n<p>He gave his mother a small mug which showed an early photograph of Whitehaven harbour<\/p>\n<p>Robert later explained that his travel company had filed for bankruptcy before their holiday and that he and Roberta had hidden in their Earls Court flat as they did not want their friends to share their disappointment<\/p>\n<p>They had asked their neighbour to travel to the Camden Market to purchase their holiday gifts<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Everything Glows <\/b><\/p>\n<p>He quite often decorated teapots as Mother Oats entertained her latest lover<\/p>\n<p>She liked Oriental girls and would go out on certain nights to meet them and bring them back to their flat in the <i>8<sup>th<\/sup> Arrondissement<\/i><\/p>\n<p>By day she worked on one of the perfume counters at the <i>Galeries Lafayette<\/i><\/p>\n<p>He grew used to the many interruptions caused by Mother Oats and her Oriental lovers<\/p>\n<p>On occasions He joined in the fun that always took place on the mattress which was next to the telephone in the corner of the room<\/p>\n<p>But more than often He remained at his table by the window overlooking the street and decorated his beloved teapots<\/p>\n<p>When they were alone both He and Mother Oates would lay naked on their mattress and wait for a rat named Harrison Wyld to enter the room<\/p>\n<p>The rat would climb on to the stool which was next to crate that served as a footstall in the middle of the room and speak about executioners in Tudor times<\/p>\n<p>Here is an excerpt<\/p>\n<p><i>The English executioners failed to learn one important lesson from the Spanish Inquisition <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>In Spain victims were usually gagged by the agony pear which was gently thrust in to their mouths <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>(Executioners to the man were known for their gentleness)<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>One has only to think of Ann Boleyn\u2019s executioner who gave her a bunch of red roses prior to her execution in 1536<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i> Ann gave them to her dearest friend instructing her that the beautiful flowers be pressed for posterity when they died <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>She alas (she noted) would not be up for this simple task as was to die within the hour<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>The use of the agony pear was to prevent the condemned from making unpleasant noises which might upset the more sensitive spectators but many knew the real reason to be the prevention of remarks such of those from Latimer which caused further damage at the time and have echoed loudlly ever since<\/i><\/p>\n<p><strong>Sheriff Lee<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><i>The Sheriff who was to oversee the burning of the unfortunate Dr Rowland Taylor in his own parish of Hadleigh was a case in point <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>He was a man of liberal tendencies in a very dark age and engaged in conversation with Dr Taylor on the eve of his execution<\/i><\/p>\n<p><em>He also gave the\u00a0condemned an agony pear and suggested that its use was optional\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n<p><i>\u201cWhy Master Doctor how do you now?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>\u201cWell God be praised, good Master Sheriff never better for now I am near my glorious home and will die praising the full glory of the early primroses\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>As they drank together on that last evening the good Doctor stood for a moment and touched the low wooden bea<\/i><em>m above him <\/em><\/p>\n<p><i>\u201cWhat a notable sway I would give if I were hanged from this very beam for I am such a big and corpulent man\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>This comment touched the kind Sheriff who arranged that the Doctor be hung from beam in question holding a prayer book in one hand and a bunch of primroses in the other<br \/>\n<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>The wood that was to be used for the execution was distributed to the poor of the village as although the primroses were now to be seen the early spring winds had not softened \u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i>\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Robert Returned from Goa He brought me a phial of opaque sand Sandra received a toy bear dressed as a sailor hailing from Cornwall He gave his mother a small mug which showed an early photograph of Whitehaven harbour Robert later explained that his travel company had filed for bankruptcy before their holiday and 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