Tractors <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Billy had liked tractors since childhood <\/p>\n\n\n\n
His bedroom was colourfully decorated <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With tractors red blue and green <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Billy vowed to work on a farm when he matured <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which he did and could be often be seen <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Driving tractors around the family farm <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then it happened <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Billy had an accident <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When his tractor rolled into a ditch <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And trapped him underneath <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Breaking both of his legs and an arm <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was in hospital for some weeks<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And when discharged <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Found that one leg was longer than the other <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This ended his farming career <\/p>\n\n\n\n
His sweetheart left him <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And he began to hate tractors <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Billy started to drink hoping to find love <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And one day met a lass named Anne <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In The Three Tractors <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They agreed to date <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But she disliked the smoky atmosphere <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of the only pub in the village <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But he had no choice <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So they endured the rotten air <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was until Anne asked to leave <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As she was asthmatic<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Billy then stood up and amazingly <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sucked all the foul smoke into his lungs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He released it outside in the beer garden <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anne could not believe what she had seen <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And asked him how he did it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Billy smiled and told his girlfriend <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That he was an extractor fan <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that the task was quite simple
Frozen Cows <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Farmer Jones found his cows <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Frozen solid in the field one morning <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It had been the worse winter in memory <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if his cows died then it would be a disaster<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So he rang the local vet who gave him a phone number <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The farmer rang the number and it was answered by a girl <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mum will be with you within the hour Farmer Jones <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And so she was with only a towel and a hairdryer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She began to work almost immediately <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rub rub rub with the bathroom towel <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And five minutes with the hairdryer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The cows began to recover one by one <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To the amazement of Farmer Jones <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And were soon their old selves <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He asked the woman what her name was <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So that he could spread the word <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The woman rather shyly replied <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thora Hird <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tractors Billy had liked tractors since childhood His bedroom was colourfully decorated With tractors red blue and green Billy vowed to work on a farm when he matured Which he did and could be often be seen Driving tractors around the family farm And then it happened Billy had an accident When his tractor rolled […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18965","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18965","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18965"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18965\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18982,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18965\/revisions\/18982"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18965"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18965"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18965"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}