{"id":1951,"date":"2015-11-28T12:42:16","date_gmt":"2015-11-28T12:42:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=1951"},"modified":"2015-11-28T12:42:16","modified_gmt":"2015-11-28T12:42:16","slug":"a-trip-to-assisi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2015\/11\/28\/a-trip-to-assisi\/","title":{"rendered":"A Trip to Assisi"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sister Christine was standing in the shower in her hotel in Assisi<\/p>\n<p>She was looking at her feet<\/p>\n<p>Which were covered by the retained water in the shower tray<\/p>\n<p>She loved the feeling of her feet being immersed in the soapy waters of her shower and often stood for a few moments in the declining remnants held<\/p>\n<p>It was like life she thought<\/p>\n<p>Soon the water would be gone but the shower tray would still be there<\/p>\n<p>And guests like her would shower way the dust and sweat collected during the day<\/p>\n<p>Sister Monica was lying on her bed<\/p>\n<p><i>Sister you have not removed your sandals <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>And you are dressed in shorts <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>But the bed linen will be marred <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Why do you shave your legs if that was what you were doing in the shower? <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Because it feels cleaner and I am less prone to rashes and spots <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Do you shave your legs? <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>No<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Why not<\/i>?<\/p>\n<p><i>Because I am not vain like you and also I am of Macedonian decent and you get very few blonde Macedonians <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>It would be a losing battle anyway my habit covers them and if they are uncovered only my fellow sisters would see them <\/i><\/p>\n<p>In the corner of the room was a television<\/p>\n<p>A game show called<\/p>\n<p><i>Where Were Your Parents Born? <\/i><\/p>\n<p>Was being shown<\/p>\n<p>Both nuns sat on the bed and watched as the game show host Luigi Mossi questioned the contestants<\/p>\n<p>A small coloured man sitting on a stool and explained to Luigi that he thought that he parents had been born in Brazil<\/p>\n<p>He was correct and won a respectable amount of prize money<\/p>\n<p>Sister Christine picked up a small black and white photograph that had fallen to the floor<\/p>\n<p><i>What is this?<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>It is a photograph that I found in the Gideon Bible <\/i><\/p>\n<p>The photograph showed two natives in loincloths holding blow pipes which far exceeded their height<\/p>\n<p><i>There is writing on the back have you read it? <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>No I did not bring my glasses <\/i><\/p>\n<p>Sister Christine looked at the natives and their blowpipes and began reading the writing which was difficult as it had been written in a small hand<\/p>\n<p><i>Sakai on the road to the Cameron Highlands.<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i> These men live in the jungle and feed on birds which they kill with poisoned darts from the blowpipes.<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>These two fellows are holding their blowpipes in the picture.<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i> The blowpipes are approximately nine to ten feet long.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>A sparrow hot from the afternoon sun was perched on the windowsill<\/p>\n<p>It was shaking<\/p>\n<p><i>Why are you shaking small bird?<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>I am scared of the natives with their blowpipes <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Do not worry as they live on a continent many thousands of miles away and will never visit Assisi <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>You are in no danger little bird <\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Thank you sister <\/i><\/p>\n<p>The sparrow waited for a moment and then flew into the street below where it was hit by tourist bus full of Macedonian students<\/p>\n<p>It was killed instantly but died happy in the knowledge that it would never fall victim to a poisoned dart<\/p>\n<p>The coach driver wept<\/p>\n<p>Six out of the twenty-eight students on the bus wept although only two of them actually witnessed the accident<\/p>\n<p>This is an understandable percentage as Macedonian students are not easily given to emotion<\/p>\n<p>The game show host wept<\/p>\n<p>Game show hosts are known for their emotional outbursts<\/p>\n<p>Later that evening when Sister Christine was cleaning her teeth she thought she saw a random tear drop from the shower tray onto the bathroom floor and knew that God was unhappy also.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sister Christine was standing in the shower in her hotel in Assisi She was looking at her feet Which were covered by the retained water in the shower tray She loved the feeling of her feet being immersed in the soapy waters of her shower and often stood for a few moments in the declining [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1951"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1951"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1951\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1951"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1951"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1951"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}