Hi Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hi Jean it has been a long time <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you well <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No I am deeper <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am writing my second book <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wow <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The title is above<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is it about <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wanking in the Western World <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not wankers of the Western World <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know many <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jean <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How often do you masturbate\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tick the box\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Never (liar)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once a hour <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once a month<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One a year <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josie gives me all my hand jobs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have a secret which is far worse\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is a deep secret <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And it has caused a great deal of friction between Josie and I <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Will you share it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I will have to ask Josie\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
JOSIE<\/p>\n\n\n\n
FUCK OFF JOE I AM STILL CROSS WITH YOU <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She is in the bath <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How often do you masturbate Jean <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know the answer to that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Come again <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mother took Thalidomide <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I am some years older than you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh yes I forgot you are a Thalid <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then how do you reach climax <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I sit on washing machines <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The back seats of buses often work <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All that on a bus pass <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also have a very affectionate dog <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Trained <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does it frustrate you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then how do you get around the problem <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apart from giving an illegal a pack of fags <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do not get around the problem Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are so brave Jean <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are an inspiration to me<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have got to hand it to you my friend\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Also I am an activist <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was in London recently <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which demo <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The No Arms one <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A worthy cause <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have exposed myself to you Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know that only too well <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Joe reflects on reality)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have a stiff drink <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And when you are ready <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would you tell me your great secret <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does it involve Taylor Swift<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is worse than that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not a female Labour MP <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not even warm <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It all happened about a year ago when I thought Josie was out<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I started watching something on the internet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josie caught me cold <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Were you masturbating over Harry Styles <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do people wank over Harry Styles<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not that I know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would if I had arms\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thank you for sharing that<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please do not keep me in suspense <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was listening to<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Day Before You Came\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not that underrated ABBA song <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are disgusting Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josie went apeshit at me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
ABBA <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fucking ABBA <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I really feel for Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
ABBA <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes ABBA <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you make up <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because she looked in the loft and found my collection of ABBA albums <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She threw me out of our home <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which was a pain as we live on the fourth floor <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did you do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I fucked all her friends <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you forgiven now <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes but I paid dearly for my crime <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was made to give all my ABBA albums to charity <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a charity that I hated with a vengeance<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You paid a heavy price Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I think that being a Thalid is bad <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You will be in my prayers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But you are an atheist Jean\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jean & Joe<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi Joe Hi Jean it has been a long time Are you well No I am deeper I am writing my second book Wow The title is above What is it about Wanking in the Western World Not wankers of the Western World I know many Joe Jean How often do you masturbate\u00a0 Tick the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20179"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20179\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20180,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20179\/revisions\/20180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}