Hi All <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Silly Boy here <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Girlfriends they are so overrated <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I met a girl named Meryl <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The other day <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was from Stoke <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I like girls from Stoke <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meryl thought I was the best thing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She had seen since her cat <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Visited its flat mate on the A4<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I told her that I was hung like a digger <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And things progressed from there <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Until Shag Time raised its ugly head <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She did warn me beforehand <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am on the Rag she said <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which I thought was unkind <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I had purchased <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Egyptian Cotton Sheets <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Especially for the occasion <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As we undressed there was a pungent smell <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which I put down to a dead neighbour <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meryl insisted on shagging in the dark <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I am ashamed to say <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I shagged my own pillow <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For twenty minutes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before it exploded beneath me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Long story short <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was like shagging a treacle pudding <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But take away the smell and the crumbs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And Silly Boy had a nice time <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I asked for oral sex <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So we spent our afterglow <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Chatting about sexual positions <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was fond of the doggie one <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although Meryl preferred<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The soixante neuf <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We fell asleep in each others arms<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mine was from the twelfth century <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meryl’s was from the First Crusade<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then it happened <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I woke up <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meryl was no longer with me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked down and screamed\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As my willy was no longer there <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was nothing but blood <\/p>\n\n\n\n
From my knees to my chest <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mummy came in with coffee <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She called an ambulance <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who is my maternal aunt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was taken to St Jude’s <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was so so embarrassing<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They hunted high and low<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For my lost dick <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was not in my crisp packet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They even checked Meryl out <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it was not there <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was not until I showered <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With one of the illegal porters <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That they found it<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was where it had always been <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The head nurse said <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That she had seen bigger dicks <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On mutilated grasshoppers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I now have mental health problems <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And am prone to self abuse <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which is strictly prohibited <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As it makes one blind<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meryl is still my girlfriend <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We pick primroses together <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And collect for –<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is enough my friends<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It hurts too much <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As Meryl has told me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That her men o pause is dew <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This has confused me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As men still walk past her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Without incurring any inhibition <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This may be my last post <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Silly Boy is Sad <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi All Silly Boy here Girlfriends they are so overrated I met a girl named Meryl The other day She was from Stoke I like girls from Stoke Meryl thought I was the best thing She had seen since her cat Visited its flat mate on the A4 I told her that I was hung […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20402"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20402\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20403,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20402\/revisions\/20403"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}