I found my dog pissing against a film poster which showed a pretty Swedish actress in Edwardian dress<\/p>\n
Cunt<\/i><\/p>\n
Fucking dog I wanted to piss in her face <\/i><\/p>\n
Your fucking dog pissed over me as well as the film poster <\/i><\/p>\n
That is no reason to be bitter brick <\/i><\/p>\n
When I was younger and had more colour I met another brick and we indulged in a three-way with a Swedish actress not unlike the one that your dog has just pissed against<\/i><\/p>\n
Did you enjoy it I am sure that I would have done? <\/i><\/p>\n
No the other brick and I argued about who was going to fuck her first and the actress tired of our indecision and masturbated herself on the bathroom floor <\/i><\/p>\n
I ended up being frustrated as pretty Swedish actresses who can count up to three are not that common <\/i><\/p>\n
Five years later I became part of this fucking wall <\/i><\/p>\n
It was not my decision <\/i><\/p>\n
I would have been happy to end my days as free useless brick <\/i><\/p>\n
But I am a brick and am not supposed to reason or have feelings <\/i><\/p>\n
So a builder made the decision for me <\/i><\/p>\n
I was to be part of a signalbox but ended up as part of this wall <\/i><\/p>\n
I can hear the trains but cannot see them <\/i><\/p>\n
Do you like trains?<\/i><\/p>\n
Not particularly but it is better than staring at that fucking cross <\/i><\/p>\n
On the hill above the town there was an unremarkable church which for some reason had a large illuminated white cross attached to its tower<\/p>\n
I am trapped staring at that white cross day in and day out <\/i><\/p>\n
I am trapped as well
\n<\/i><\/p>\n
Are you a Christian?<\/i><\/p>\n
I have not really thought about it <\/i><\/p>\n
What does that white cross mean to you? <\/i><\/p>\n
I think it is unusual <\/i><\/p>\n
I hate the fucking thing its light pollutes the town <\/i><\/p>\n
One day it will be removed fashions change <\/i><\/p>\n
I think not they are all very happy clappy clan in this town <\/i><\/p>\n
What about the yobs can you not get them to destroy it for you?<\/i><\/p>\n
What yobs they are all too busy being nice to each other they even put their litter into the bins provided <\/i><\/p>\n
That\u2019s true this town is very clean <\/i><\/p>\n
Except for your dog<\/i><\/p>\n
My dogs a cunt it cares for nothing but itself <\/i><\/p>\n
Would you destroy me?<\/i><\/p>\n
Destroy you? <\/i><\/p>\n
Yes smash me into many pieces so that I am reduced to spoil <\/i><\/p>\n
How would I so that?<\/i><\/p>\n
With high explosive <\/i><\/p>\n
Where am I going to find high explosive? <\/i><\/p>\n
That\u2019s easy a mile west from the town on the valley road there is a quarry and they hold high explosives there<\/i><\/p>\n
Under lock and key <\/i><\/p>\n
No I have heard the workers from the quarry discussing the lax security there if you go there after dark then it will be easy <\/i><\/p>\n
I know nothing about high explosive<\/i><\/p>\n
I do as I told you I am a smart brick just steal some and I will tell you what needs to be done <\/i><\/p>\n
What happens if somebody gets killed I am not a terrorist? <\/i><\/p>\n
It will be an isolated explosion which will destroy me and nothing else no-one will suspect you <\/i><\/p>\n
You are just a dog walker who lets his dog piss up film posters <\/i><\/p>\n
After a nights consideration I agreed to destroy the wall and the unhappy brick<\/p>\n
The explosion shook the town but the wall and the brick were totally destroyed<\/p>\n
However there were unforeseen casualties the illuminated cross was shattered by flying debris but more importantly a passing owl was killed by the sudden blast<\/p>\n
I confessed immediately and am currently awaiting execution in a condemned cell<\/p>\n
When you destroyed the wall you harmed me <\/i><\/p>\n
A voice came from the darkness<\/p>\n
Who are you? <\/i><\/p>\n
Who do you think?<\/i><\/p>\n
Identify yourself <\/i><\/p>\n
A woman in a badly torn Edwardian dress stepped forward part of her face was disfigured and her left hand was missing<\/p>\n
I am the actress the Swedish actress in the poster that was attached to the wall you destroyed <\/i><\/p>\n
You disfigured me you harmed my image and I am finding it hard to get roles in anything but horror films <\/i><\/p>\n
I did not think of that when I helped the brick <\/i><\/p>\n
The brick was selfish <\/i><\/p>\n
But it was trapped against its will <\/i><\/p>\n
Agreed but it did not have such a bad time it was always pestering me and watching me change after dark <\/i><\/p>\n
But you were on a film poster <\/i><\/p>\n
You are more stupid than I originally thought does anyone really look at film posters after dark <\/i><\/p>\n
I have never really thought about it<\/i><\/p>\n
I promise you they do not after I did my day\u2019s shift I would retire to my rooms to bathe and rest which was made all the more awkward by the brick watching and touching me <\/i><\/p>\n
Then why did he request that I destroy the wall <\/i><\/p>\n
Because I rejected the brick and threatened to report its behaviour to the authorities <\/i><\/p>\n
I am due to hang you know I have been punished also <\/i><\/p>\n
You need not hang <\/i><\/p>\n
I am to hang I assure you I am trapped in this cell and in a few hours I will be taken to the scaffold <\/i><\/p>\n
I will not even have a priest with me as they are still very pissed off about the white cross <\/i><\/p>\n
Close your eyes what do you see? <\/i><\/p>\n
Darkness <\/i><\/p>\n
You are staring at eternity <\/i><\/p>\n
Then I will imagine you naked as the brick did<\/i><\/p>\n
The Swedish actress slapped my face drawing blood<\/p>\n
Did you imagine that? <\/i><\/p>\n
No <\/i><\/p>\n
You are not trapped just close your eyes for exactly twenty-eight seconds and you can escape time <\/i><\/p>\n
Why?<\/i><\/p>\n
Do you want to hang or not if you travel it will be advantageous to both of us I will be offered the parts I deserve and you will not hang <\/i><\/p>\n
But they will, come searching for me <\/i><\/p>\n
Before the event? <\/i><\/p>\n
Kneel down as we do not have much time <\/i><\/p>\n
I knelt down as requested and could see the scuffed silk shoes that the actress was wearing<\/p>\n
Close your eyes and do not open them<\/i><\/p>\n
This is your only chance <\/i><\/p>\n
In the distance I could hear footsteps<\/p>\n
Your execution has been brought forward as the good people of this town are baying for your blood<\/i><\/p>\n
Close your eyes on my command and do not open them<\/i><\/p>\n
I will count to twenty-eight <\/i><\/p>\n
And then?<\/i><\/p>\n
It will be obvious to you<\/i><\/p>\n
When I opened my eyes I was standing in front of the film poster featuring the Swedish actress<\/p>\n
My dog began to raise it leg<\/p>\n
I pulled it away and released its lead and watched as the idiotic creature ran straight under the wheels of a passing bus<\/p>\n
I looked at the film poster<\/p>\n
The Swedish actress was smiling at me<\/p>\n
Listen to the brick weeping <\/i><\/p>\n
I could hear the bitter tears of the brick<\/p>\n
But it did not speak to me<\/p>\n
I stood in front of the film poster until the day began to recede<\/p>\n
The white cross shone brightly above me and began to dominate the town<\/p>\n
My dog had been buried that day with great ceremony within the grounds of the church<\/p>\n
At exactly six twenty-two that evening I pissed into the face of the Swedish actress on the film poster and was arrested for disturbing the peace <\/i><\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I found my dog pissing against a film poster which showed a pretty Swedish actress in Edwardian dress Cunt Fucking dog I wanted to piss in her face Your fucking dog pissed over me as well as the film poster That is no reason to be bitter brick When I was younger and had more […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2062"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2062"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2062\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}