One day Dolores caught me looking<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Down the front of her blouse <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When challenged <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I told her that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was a hill walker <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Later I caught Dolores <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Looking down my shirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She told me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I was an uneducated ape
Like many I disagree <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With plans to build <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the Green Belt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Around Bristol <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But somebody <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Took their protest too far <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When crossing the bridge
I believe in God <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes I do<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why you may ask<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I realise this <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every time I walk down the street <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I am passed by pretty girls <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wearing bright summer dresses <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then by size twenty dogs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hidden under black tents <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I reason that somebody somewhere <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Must have a sense of humour
I am a very rich man <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With a free spending spouse <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I will go bankrupt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If she carries on this way <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have asked for a divorce <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But she is no longer fucking him <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today Goldie asked me for a car <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the showroom was closed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I told her to catch a train <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This was the best decision <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I have ever made
This morning the cops <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Arrested me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was accused on being a serial killer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I had stabbed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three boxes of Sugar Puffs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And a pack of Crunchie Nut Cornflakes
Recently I have passed a couple of funerals <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sad occasions <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unless you disliked the deceased <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I respect the undertakers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I really respect the undertakers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As contrary to popular belief <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am not into stuffing the dead <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think that it was Freud who said <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That not all jokes are meant to be funny <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(this pathetic collection certainly are not) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is one joke that certainly <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does not amuse me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Its name is ****** ******
Silly Boy\/Sick Boy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I told you no political jokes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If this happens again <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then you will be forced <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To sit next to a fat person <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In their swimwear <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the beach
Joe is not impressed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I knew <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where the fuck Josie was <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do not think <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That she would be impressed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One day Dolores caught me looking Down the front of her blouse When challenged I told her that I was a hill walker Later I caught Dolores Looking down my shirt She told me That I was an uneducated ape Like many I disagree With plans to build On the Green Belt Around Bristol But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21747","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21747","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21747"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21747\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21767,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21747\/revisions\/21767"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21747"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21747"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21747"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}