Josie<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Only in Richmond <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Caty Cumdump <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Popped in to see me yesterday <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As she had split up from yet another boyfriend <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She felt upset and worthless <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I took her to see Virginia by the river <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But she was nowhere to be seen <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(she is not with you is she) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We then ran into a Pride Parade<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which seemed to cheer Caty up<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(I was shitting bricks of excitement as you can imagine) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We shared a Seven Up (I have never tried that Joe) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I told her that it was Snow White’s favourite movie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She said that she was eternally horny wet and tingling <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rather like a motorway cafe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
People stop for a bite and park their car and then go <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is why Caty was sad <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She asked me if I knew what a dyke was <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(an irrigation system obviously) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I asked her if she had ever fucked a girl <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She said no which surprised me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The gentle nature of the gathering seemed to calm Caty <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She asked after you and I told her you were travelling <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(I did not mention your breakdown) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Caty asked me what it was like to fuck your sister <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I asked after Rob <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Well very well he has just been promoted) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And said that if she fucked him <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was the answer to her question <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He still buys me silly little gifts <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But is happy with Geraldine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(I would never spoil that) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is it like to be an identical twin <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(it is like being an identical twin) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josie is very beautiful and boyish<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Well I am certainly not boyish)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are beautiful for a man <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(are men beautiful) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We walked around the festival site <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All kind of things were being sold <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the badges fascinated Caty <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She purchased one <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(I am a Leaking Dyke)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do not ask <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She enquired about you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(shaven when I last looked)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And began to volunteer some intimate details<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But suddenly stopped and started laughing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She showed me a badge <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am so Gay that I Shit Rainbows<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are going to wear it Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have never shit a rainbow in my life Caty <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You will wear it Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In Richmond <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What about my street cred <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember I am a tough footballer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Full of male violence <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What would be said <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I bet you twenty quid that you will not walk around Richmond <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wearing that badge <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And another twenty quid if you go into the toughest pub in the town <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And do the same <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Look at me I am a cum slut <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It will confuse them <\/p>\n\n\n\n
By then all the Caty Clouds had lifted <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I was able to talk some sense into her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are few parameters Caty <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But yourself <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would like to think that I helped <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But Caty being Caty who knows <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Try the gay scene I thought <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But thought it was nest of vipers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And she was fragile enough already <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She is coming to my reading in September <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where the decent’s gather <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hopefully that might work <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have deposited my winnings in your account <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Caty insisted) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And there are a bag of badges awaiting your return <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A favour Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Be well and be happy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is all <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Joe is happy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But is not looking forward to pre-season training<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Life is such a bitch sometimes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let me know when you arrive in Greece
Joe xxx<\/p>\n\n\n\n
xxx to Cora <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Josie Only in Richmond Caty Cumdump Popped in to see me yesterday As she had split up from yet another boyfriend She felt upset and worthless So I took her to see Virginia by the river But she was nowhere to be seen (she is not with you is she) We then ran into a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21816","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21816","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21816"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21816\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21822,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21816\/revisions\/21822"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21816"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21816"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21816"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}