Josie
Only in Richmond
Caty Cumdump
Popped in to see me yesterday
As she had split up from yet another boyfriend
She felt upset and worthless
So I took her to see Virginia by the river
But she was nowhere to be seen
(she is not with you is she)
We then ran into a Pride Parade
Which seemed to cheer Caty up
(I was shitting bricks of excitement as you can imagine)
We shared a Seven Up (I have never tried that Joe)
And I told her that it was Snow White\u2019s favourite movie
She said that she was eternally horny wet and tingling
Rather like a motorway cafe
Guys stop for a bite and park their car and then go
That is why Caty was sad
She asked me if I knew what a dyke was
(an irrigation system obviously)
I asked her if she had ever fucked a girl
She said no which surprised me
The gentle nature of the gathering seemed to calm Caty
She asked after you and I told her you were travelling
(I did not mention your breakdown)
What it was like to fuck your sister
Rob
(Well very well he has just been promoted)
And said that if she fucked him
That was the answer to her question
He still buys me silly little gifts
But is happy with Geraldine
(I would never spoil that)
What is it like to be an identical twin
(It is like being an identical twin)
Josie is very beautiful and boyish
(Well I am certainly not boyish)
You are beautiful for a man
(Are men beautiful)
We walked around the festival site
All kind of things were being sold
But the badges fascinated Caty
She purchased one
(I am a Leaking Dyke)
Do not ask
She enquired about you
(Shaven when I last looked)
And began to volunteer some intimate details
But suddenly stopped and started laughing
She showed me a badge
I am so Gay that I Shit Rainbows
You are going to wear it Joe
I have never shit a rainbow in my life Caty
You will wear it Joe
In Richmond
What about my street cred
Remember I am a tough footballer
Full of male violence
What would be said
I bet you twenty quid that you will not walk around Richmond
Wearing that badge
And another twenty quid if you go into the toughest pub in the town
And do the same
Look at me I am a cum slut
It will confuse them
By then all the Caty Clouds had lifted
And I was able to talk some sense into her
There are few parameters Caty
But yourself
Remember that
I would like to think that I helped
But Caty being Caty who knows
Try the gay scene
But thought it was nest of vipers
And she was fragile enough already
She is coming to my reading in September
Where the decent\u2019s gather
Hopefully that might work
I have deposited my winnings into your account
(Caty insisted)
And there are a bag of badges awaiting your return
A favour Josie
Be well and be happy
That is all
Joe is happy
But is not looking forward to pre-season training
Life is such a bitch sometimes
Let me know when you arrive in Greece
Joe xxx
xxx to Cora<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Josie Only in Richmond Caty Cumdump Popped in to see me yesterday As she had split up from yet another boyfriend She felt upset and worthless So I took her to see Virginia by the river But she was nowhere to be seen (she is not with you is she) We then ran into a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21823","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21823","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21823"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21823\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21824,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21823\/revisions\/21824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21823"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21823"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21823"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}