What was your first job Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think it was that of a paperboy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes because I could be trusted <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Son of a vicar and all that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I bet it was hard <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I only tended to do the round <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I was on hols <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Slave labour <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did not get paid <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Daddy saw it as giving something back to the community <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would have put my foot down <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it did have its bonus moments <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Explain <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The daughter of the mayor was the most beautiful girl in the village <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And purely by chance and because I am very light on my feet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I saw her quite naked in her bedroom <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did it excite you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I knew then that God existed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Especially as later in my round I came off of my bike on Cottle’s Hill <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Were you hurt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No although the handlebar caught me in the nuts <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I was in my first year at Kings <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mummy insisted that as a girl with all the gifts <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I should learn the value of money <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As life was not just summers on the Cam <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She fixed me up with one of my fathers friends <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oliver Power <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is that the estate agents <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Right in one <\/p>\n\n\n\n
From the first time I walked through the door <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did not like him as he was all surface <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He also treated me as a piece of meat <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was forever looking at my boobs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And just loved my bum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This did not really bother me as I was used to it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
After all I was rather nice to look at <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You brush up well <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fuck you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well carrying on I put up with it until the day I was late back from lunch <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had met my old school pal Robyn who was down from Oxford <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This was not the first time I had been late back from lunch <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just pretended to be blonde and fluffy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That always worked <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But on this day Head Office were down and as I walked through the door Oliver took me aside and in a voice to be heard asked me why I was late back <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This embarrassed me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I began to blush <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then I got angry <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked around the office and then in a very sweet girly voice <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Said I was late because I had been jacking off adding that hot weather made me so fucking horny <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Go on <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nothing happened I went back to my desk and got on with things <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was until the bosses went <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was sacked on the spot <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did it upset ewe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not in a bit <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just collected my bag and left forever planning to ask Frankie to put dogs shit through the letterbox that evening <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bastard actually rang mummy even before I got home <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I knew that she was cross with me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mummy gets very formal when she is cross <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Daddy returned she took him aside <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What happened <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Daddy increased my allowance and said that if I did not want to work during my hols then I did not need to do so <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did your mother say <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not much but I knew she was pissed with me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In certain ways you are very like me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three strikes and out <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you realise that when we have children I would never expect them to work if they did not want to do so <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Children <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh fucketty fuck <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have never learnt how to close doors <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Memo to self <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ask Josie for her thoughts and direction <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What was your first job Joe I think it was that of a paperboy Really Yes because I could be trusted Son of a vicar and all that I bet it was hard I only tended to do the round When I was on hols Slave labour I did not get paid What Daddy saw […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23643","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23643"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23643\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23650,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23643\/revisions\/23650"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23643"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23643"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23643"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}