Arthur do you know what time it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do not feel well Mum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let me sleep <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do not be such a wimp <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really look I have shit the bed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It has melted my bot water bottle <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are faking it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really what will the neighbours think <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A son of mine pretending to be sick <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I grew up during the war you know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had an important job <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was in charge of making sure that the dandelions were safe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Those beastly Germans were very cruel <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did they pick them Mum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stupid child how do you pick a fucking dandelion <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you are thousands of feet above Sidcup <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you live in Sidcup <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When my mother came up with my cod liver oil <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She would have been shocked really shocked <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I said I was sick <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember the dandelions she would say<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember the fucking dandelions <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But mum I have shit the bed have a sniff <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You bad boy that is your dead rabbit Floppy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is Floppy dead <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obviously you shot it with your new air rifle <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do not know why you keep it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would have made a lovely stew <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now get up <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your job is very important <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is my job <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are a Samaritan<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is a Samaritan<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You listen to people who have problems <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And stop them killing themselves <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That does sound like an important job <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have I saved many people <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How many <\/p>\n\n\n\n
None <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because you bore them to death <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do I <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes you are a boring little shit <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even the Inspector of the Samaritan’s <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Killed himself last week <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But my hut is not there any more <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is because you left it on the number nine bus <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are such a careless waste of space <\/p>\n\n\n\n
May I take my mattress mum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What the fuck for <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because they make such a mess on the rocks <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is impossible for families to picnic there any more <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As long as you do not take that fucking rabbit <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is beginning to smell and I know that you have its head <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Under your pillow <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is my good luck charm <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I will give you good luck charm <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now get up and be a man <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do I have time for a shit Mum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No you have not <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you think that those poor depressives <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are going to wait on the cliffs while you have a shit <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is only a small one<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are going have to save it for tonight <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just cross your fucking legs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Old Bitch <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did you call me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wait to your father gets home <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He is dead <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He jumped off your fucking cliff
Silly Boy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Arthur do you know what time it I do not feel well Mum Let me sleep Do not be such a wimp Really look I have shit the bed It has melted my bot water bottle You are faking it Really what will the neighbours think A son of mine pretending to be sick I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23826","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23826","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23826"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23826\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23829,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23826\/revisions\/23829"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23826"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23826"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23826"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}