You can lead a woman to culture
\nBut you cannot make her think <\/i><\/p>\n
Christina Vietnam was preparing breakfast<\/p>\n
She smiled at her younger sister Hannah<\/p>\n
I think you have got it wrong<\/i><\/p>\n
Why?<\/i><\/p>\n
I think she said <\/i><\/p>\n
You can lead a whore to culture
\nBut you cannot make her think <\/i><\/p>\n
It was attributed to me but it is not mine <\/i><\/p>\n
You can lead a horse to water
\nBut you cannot make it drink<\/i><\/p>\n
It is a corruption of that saying <\/i><\/p>\n
I believe a newspaper attributed it to me<\/i><\/p>\n
During a scandal?<\/i><\/p>\n
I cannot remember my dear <\/i><\/p>\n
The orange juice is delicious<\/i><\/p>\n
I purchased it at the deli earlier on \u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
If you do not mind me saying so you have strange surname <\/i><\/p>\n
It is not our birth name <\/i><\/p>\n
What is your birth name?<\/i><\/p>\n
It is the same as yours PARKER <\/i><\/p>\n
Why was it changed?<\/i><\/p>\n
Our father fought in the Vietnam War <\/i><\/p>\n
So he named you after the country?<\/i><\/p>\n
No it was because something awful happened to him whilst he was there <\/i><\/p>\n
Go on <\/i><\/p>\n
He was involved in the Tet Offensive in 1968 he did not want to be there nobody but the mad wanted to be in Vietnam at that time<\/i><\/p>\n
Well he and a few comrades found themselves isolated by the Vietcong but after a firefight managed to break out <\/i><\/p>\n
In doing so they killed all but one of the insurgents <\/i><\/p>\n
The only survivor was a boy of about seventeen <\/i><\/p>\n
Did they take him prisoner?<\/i><\/p>\n
No my father shot him in the head <\/i><\/p>\n
War is war <\/i><\/p>\n
It is what they did afterwards that so disgusted him <\/i><\/p>\n
Initially they violated the corpse and then they cut it up and began to cook and eat it <\/i><\/p>\n
They ate the corpse?<\/i><\/p>\n
Well only part of it as they were all violently sick <\/i><\/p>\n
What happened then?<\/i><\/p>\n
Nothing they made their way back to their unit as if nothing had happened <\/i><\/p>\n
But they each made a solemn promise to each other never to discuss the incident<\/i><\/p>\n
How do you know about it then?<\/i><\/p>\n
My father was the only one to survive the war and was so disgusted with himself that he changed his surname from PARKER to Vietnam in memory of the boy<\/i><\/p>\n
How did you find out?<\/i><\/p>\n
He told us on our seventeenth birthdays <\/i><\/p>\n
How did you feel? <\/i><\/p>\n
We did not feel anything it was a long time ago <\/i><\/p>\n
Is your father still alive?<\/i><\/p>\n
Yes he joined a Hells Angel chapter some years ago and I believe hangs out somewhere near Monument Valley in Utah<\/i><\/p>\n
John Wayne country <\/i><\/p>\n
Hannah Vietnam was sitting at her desk in a hotel room in La Paz<\/p>\n
Dorothy PARKER was sitting on one of the two beds in the room<\/p>\n
What are you writing my dear?<\/i><\/p>\n
Nothing I am writing nothing <\/i><\/p>\n
You know I have always found hotel beds in Bolivia to be on the hard side <\/i><\/p>\n
I cannot say that I have noticed\u00a0 <\/i><\/p>\n
Why are you not using a word processor?<\/i><\/p>\n
Because I am Ernest Hemingway <\/i><\/p>\n
But Ernest Hemingway was known for his books and you have written nothing<\/i><\/p>\n
I am Ernest Hemingway in a red dress<\/i><\/p>\n
Collins could see his assassins waiting for him but the bushes inhibited his full view<\/p>\n
He lifted his rifle and took aim<\/p>\n
A seventeen year old boy broke cover<\/p>\n
He was supplying a coffee to the nearest assassin<\/p>\n
Collins shot him between the eyes<\/p>\n
John Wayne!<\/i><\/p>\n
John Fucking Wayne!<\/i><\/p>\n
Are you addressing me? <\/i><\/p>\n
Who else is in the room? <\/i><\/p>\n
Have I upset you Christina?<\/i><\/p>\n
Clich\u00e9 you have lapsed into clich\u00e9 <\/i><\/p>\n
What do you mean?<\/i><\/p>\n
Dad as a Hells Angel in Monument Valley<\/i><\/p>\n
Why could he not sell real estate in Chicago that was where he was born?<\/i><\/p>\n
I wanted to add a bit of mystery to the story<\/i><\/p>\n
Do you know that not all his comrades died in Vietnam?<\/i><\/p>\n
No <\/i><\/p>\n
A chap named Lembronski survived the war <\/i><\/p>\n
Well I say survived the war <\/i><\/p>\n
The stupid fuck stepped on a land mine and lost both his legs and one arm <\/i><\/p>\n
Where is he now? <\/i><\/p>\n
He lives in downtown New York <\/i><\/p>\n
Has he discussed the incident?<\/i><\/p>\n
How should I know?<\/i><\/p>\n
All I know is that his help comes in one a week to clean for him and wanks him off<\/i><\/p>\n
It is hard to wank with one arm<\/i><\/p>\n
Although not impossible <\/i><\/p>\n
He suffers with his balance and ends up rolling on the floor like a toy in a bird cage if he attempts to wank himself
\n<\/i><\/p>\n
Why is my sister in La Paz? <\/i><\/p>\n
No reason <\/i><\/p>\n
Is she sleeping with Dorothy PARKER?<\/i><\/p>\n
Not to my knowledge <\/i><\/p>\n
Then why is she sitting in front of an old fashioned typewriter? <\/i><\/p>\n
She imagines herself to be Ernest Hemingway<\/i><\/p>\n
Fuck off!<\/i><\/p>\n
Why fuck off?<\/i><\/p>\n
Hannah is a delicate girl why are you bullying her?<\/i><\/p>\n
I am not bullying her<\/i><\/p>\n
She imagines herself to be Ernest Hemingway <\/i><\/p>\n
Mr Macho man himself <\/i><\/p>\n
Would you like me to re-write the passage?<\/i><\/p>\n
If you must<\/i><\/p>\n
Hannah Vietnam was sitting at her desk in a hotel room in La Paz<\/p>\n
Dorothy PARKER was sitting on one of the two beds in the room<\/p>\n
What are you writing my dear?<\/i><\/p>\n
Nothing I am writing nothing <\/i><\/p>\n
You know I have always found hotel beds in Bolivia to be on the hard side <\/i><\/p>\n
I cannot say that I have noticed <\/i><\/p>\n
Why are you not using a word processor?<\/i><\/p>\n
Because I am Ernest Hemingway <\/i><\/p>\n
But Ernest Hemingway was known for his books and you have written nothing<\/i><\/p>\n
I am Ernest Hemingway with a wet cunt <\/i><\/p>\n
Is that better?<\/i><\/p>\n
She is still Ernest Hemingway but you have softened the story I can see that she is in love <\/i><\/p>\n
That is why she went to La Paz <\/i><\/p>\n
Is she in love with Dorothy PARKER?<\/i><\/p>\n
I have not decided how I will continue <\/i><\/p>\n
She might have spent a night of love with a man and returned to her room to find Dorothy waiting for her <\/i><\/p>\n
She showers and puts on her favourite red dress <\/i><\/p>\n
And sits at the typewriter <\/i><\/p>\n
She does not seem attracted to Dorothy <\/i><\/p>\n
As I said I do not know <\/i><\/p>\n
Is she masturbating over Ernest Hemingway? <\/i><\/p>\n
No she is just sitting there with Dorothy PARKER <\/i><\/p>\n
Is she attracted to Dorothy?<\/i><\/p>\n
I told you I have not decided how to proceed<\/i><\/p>\n
Where were you born?<\/i><\/p>\n
In Fangfoss in Yorkshire <\/i><\/p>\n
In England <\/i><\/p>\n
Yes<\/i><\/p>\n
You are English?<\/i><\/p>\n
Obviously <\/i><\/p>\n
You do not sound English<\/i><\/p>\n
That is because I have lived in the US for so long <\/i><\/p>\n
What plans do you have for me in this story? <\/i><\/p>\n
I have not decided yet<\/i><\/p>\n
You never decide anything are you a retard or something? <\/i><\/p>\n
You fuck me off <\/i><\/p>\n
And you fuck me off Christina<\/i><\/p>\n
Fuck you <\/i><\/p>\n
I could place you in a steaming jungle surrounded by the Vietcong <\/i><\/p>\n
An American girl lost in the jungle <\/i><\/p>\n
You would not last five minutes <\/i><\/p>\n
You would not dare <\/i><\/p>\n
When Christina woke up she found herself in a clearing in the jungle<\/p>\n
All her companions were dead<\/p>\n
Their corpses were beginning to putrefy and the sweet smell of death had begun to attack her breathing<\/p>\n
She could taste death<\/p>\n
As she stumbled to her feet she felt the nozzle of a gun being pressed against her lower back<\/p>\n
An American girl we have found an American girl <\/i><\/p>\n
Christina slowly turned<\/p>\n
There were at least ten members of the Vietcong facing her<\/p>\n
One was vigorously masturbating his face wild with excitement<\/p>\n
Fuck you you have made me cry <\/i><\/p>\n
Why do you argue with me Cristina?<\/i><\/p>\n
Hannah never argues with me <\/i><\/p>\n
You are a cunt and you know you are <\/i><\/p>\n
Would you like me to continue your story?<\/i><\/p>\n
No please do not continue with the story as you have scared the shit out of me <\/i><\/p>\n
You are a bully<\/i><\/p>\n
And you are a bitch <\/i><\/p>\n
I do not know why I ever created you <\/i><\/p>\n
As a balance to sweet innocent Hannah <\/i><\/p>\n
Maybe <\/i><\/p>\n
You are a cunt all men are cunts <\/i><\/p>\n
But would you please write about me in my house in New York<\/i><\/p>\n
Or in the hotel room in La Paz <\/i><\/p>\n
I am scared and you have scared me <\/i><\/p>\n
Are you sorry?<\/i><\/p>\n
No<\/i><\/p>\n
Fuck you <\/i><\/p>\n
Fuck you <\/i><\/p>\n
All I need to do is return to the keyboard and you will return to the jungle <\/i><\/p>\n
I am sorry <\/i><\/p>\n
Are you sorry?<\/i><\/p>\n
Fuck you what do you want me to do cry again I look like shit as it is <\/i><\/p>\n
I tell you what Christina I will let you sit at my keyboard the story is all yours I have tired of it and your behaviour<\/i><\/p>\n
Do what you like <\/i><\/p>\n
I will have you anally raped in a prison <\/i><\/p>\n
As you will <\/i><\/p>\n
No I will lose you in South America you will approve of that walking along some dusty lane towards a Godforsaken village and then into oblivion <\/i><\/p>\n
You want to disappear I sense that you are tired and just want to fade away <\/i><\/p>\n
That is why you write with such venom <\/i><\/p>\n
The seat is vacant just let me go <\/i><\/p>\n
You know how tired I am <\/i><\/p>\n
Christina Vietnam was preparing breakfast<\/p>\n
She smiled at her younger sister Hannah<\/p>\n
Dorothy PARKER was sitting on a hard chair looking at the New York skyline which was still sharp in profile against the early morning sun<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You can lead a woman to culture But you cannot make her think Christina Vietnam was preparing breakfast She smiled at her younger sister Hannah I think you have got it wrong Why? I think she said You can lead a whore to culture But you cannot make her think It was attributed to me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2383"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2383"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2383\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2383"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2383"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2383"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}