Hi Martha <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Its my birthday today <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you Welsh <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fuck no <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You said that you would tell me Joe’s big secret <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did I <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You did <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It all started in Lanzarote <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When we were much younger <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mummy and Daddy sent us on annual beach holidays <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just for being good little fuckers all year <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You said your prayers each night <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like clockwork <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We went to Lanzarote <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which is a beautiful island <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But it was a total disaster from beginning to end <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Explain <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the first day as we walked towards the beach <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A couple of North Africans tried to flog us a dodgy watch <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I politely declined <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But was called a white whore for declining the offer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sadly Joe speaks French <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And it all got very silly for a while <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I could see us both ending up on Devils Island <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I gave the Bar Luna a wide berth as I could see it happening again <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Other things included people being confused by the dynamics<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of Joe and Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We shared a room <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I walked around topless most of the time <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It fried their little snowflake brains <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On our last day Joe and eye visited a trendy bar <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bar Antonio <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was whilst we were there that Joe listened <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To a song that he liked on the overheads <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But forgot to take a note of the group <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was roughly about a couple of girls <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who steal a lorry and drive across the icy wastes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did not care for it but as you know Joe likes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This type of music <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We actually managed to return to the UK without being arrested<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And Joe contacted a friend who identified TaTu as the duo<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All fine and good and he ordered the CD from HMV<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The assistant Viola was very very helpful <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He later told me they were mates<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Joe was due to pick up the CD when he accompanied Daddy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To the Conference of Churches in Canterbury <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would not say liking TaTu should be a guilty secret <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not to my taste but hey ho <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Joe broke his ankle playing football <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the Saturday before the Wednesday <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was obviously unable to travel anywhere<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let alone Canterbury <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And Daddy being Daddy said he would pick up the CD<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What was wrong with that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nothing in itself <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But Daddy was with the Archbishop of Canterbury and other members of the cloth <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let us say that it raised eyebrows <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought it was funny but Joe was more straight about it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The fun and games in Lanzarote <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Came out shortly afterwards <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fighting with the blacks <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being deliberately shocking <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Daddy did not often get cross with us <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But on this occasion he did <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And Joe thought he had let him down <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He never mentions it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Especially since Daddy died <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is that all <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought it was something juicy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Joe presents this edgy devil may care attitude <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But he has a very soft centre <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is why he can be so shitty with people <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have you any secrets Martha <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes many<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do share <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When is your birthday <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi Martha Josie Its my birthday today Are you Welsh Fuck no You said that you would tell me Joe’s big secret Did I You did It all started in Lanzarote When we were much younger Mummy and Daddy sent us on annual beach holidays Just for being good little fuckers all year You said […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25028","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25028"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25028\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25034,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25028\/revisions\/25034"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}