Sham <\/p>\n\n\n\n
May I call you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sham Lee Green <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everybody else does <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In your Memoirs of a Paperboy<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You say that you once saw<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Plain Jane Sane <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Quite naked <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is true <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is not another of your wet dreams <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Far from it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tell me about <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Plane Jane Spain <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was a bitch <\/p>\n\n\n\n
An absolute bitch to me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think she was jealous of my intellect <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But you are thick <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She used to spread rumours about me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What kind of rumours <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I had a tiny dick <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How did she know that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My sister told her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sister <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Annabella <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She is all heart <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you get my point <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This made me feel very uneasy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As even the teachers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Began to call me Little Richard <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pour Ewe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I had my revenge <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another lawn <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No just a church path <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tended to cut through the church <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To shorten my paper round <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her father like mine was a vicar <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And her bedroom overlooked <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some of the early nineteenth century graves <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was whilst I was studying the grave <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of Captain Richard Owen Squires <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was killed during the Indian Mutiny <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How did you know that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mummy told me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How did her mummy know that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her mummy told her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I expect that her mummy told her as well <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Right in one <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So you saw her quite naked <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes right down to her freckled arse <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you tell her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Very much <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wanted the bitch to suffer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did you do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I left the garden gate open <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She did not believe me at first <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And threatened to tell her father <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I was wanking behind the graves again <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I then pulled out my ace card <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That being that I knew <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That she had a likeness of the headmaster <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just above her ample bush <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was she hairy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not really I just like the word ample <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did it work <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Very much <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She burst into tears <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And promised to be nice to me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For ever and ever <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did she keep her word <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes I married her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On her twenty fifth birthday <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We have been happy ever since <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a match made in Hell <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought your were happy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We are blissfully <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hell <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is easy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We were married in Norway
Silly Boy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sham May I call you Sham Lee Green Everybody else does In your Memoirs of a Paperboy You say that you once saw Plain Jane Sane Quite naked That is true It is not another of your wet dreams No Far from it Tell me about Plane Jane Spain She was a bitch An absolute […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25336"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25336\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25339,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25336\/revisions\/25339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}