My then girlfriend was less than subtle <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When telling people about my love for hamsters <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In certain peoples eyes I was a bit of a joke <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She did not really know the damage she was doing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you get your own back Stephen<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did I did I did I did I did I did I did I did<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did you do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did I did I did I did I did I did I did I did<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I worked to my strengths as I am a talented artist <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Emma worked at Bloom’s Solicitors <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which is right next to bus stops L M & S <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The buses in our fair town were famous <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because they were so rarely cleaned<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I decided to use this dust to my advantage <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And added a likeness of Emma<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Taken from a recent life drawing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To the blind side of the bus the bus<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The idea was that the bus would park in front of Bloom’s <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that Emma would be seen in all her naked glory <\/p>\n\n\n\n
During the ten minutes before departure <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No detail was spared not even her birthmark <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That evening when I returned from work <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I found two hamster cages and met Cranly and Lynch <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But my happiness was short-lived <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I received a hefty slap for all my troubles <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two hamsters now had a new home <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I was left with a bloody nose
Silly Boy & Emma<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My then girlfriend was less than subtle When telling people about my love for hamsters In certain peoples eyes I was a bit of a joke She did not really know the damage she was doing Did you get your own back Stephen I did I did I did I did I did I did […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25461","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25461","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25461"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25461\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25468,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25461\/revisions\/25468"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}