When my nieces and nephews were young we often played a game when driving either to Norwich or to Warwick<\/p>\n
The game was simple, the first person to see an Eddie Stobart lorry scored a point and the person with the most points at the end of the journey was the winner<\/p>\n
It was easy even I understood the rules<\/p>\n
But what I did not allow for was that I would become addicted<\/p>\n
I thought I could control the habit but it spiralled out of control and if I do not see an Eddie Stobart for any length of time I began to shake<\/p>\n
I can clearly remember my last sighting on the 12th<\/sup> of September this year or the two Eddie Stobart\u2019s I saw in Devizes on my birthday a couple of years ago<\/p>\n I am beyond any help and have tried to wean myself off by becoming a train spotter and collecting car number plates but my case is beyond that<\/p>\n But who is Eddie Stobart or what is Eddie Stobart?<\/p>\n Well simply it is a haulage company based I believe in Cumbria<\/p>\n Their lorries are very distinctive and striking being painted in a Post Office Red and a Brunswick Green<\/p>\n There drivers are smartly dressed and as far as I can see careful drivers<\/p>\n There trucks in the main are given female names<\/p>\n I suggested this to my wife but she was not impressed<\/p>\n May I sit here? <\/i><\/p>\n I looked up and saw a rather tall woman standing in front of me<\/p>\n She was dressed in what appeared to be a silver suit<\/p>\n Of course<\/i><\/p>\n The services gets so crowded at this time of day <\/i><\/p>\n This station always seems to be grounded<\/i><\/p>\n What are you writing?<\/i><\/p>\n I am writing about Eddie Stobart <\/i><\/p>\n Eddie Stobart? <\/i><\/p>\n Yes it is a haulage company if you look over there you can see one of their trucks<\/i><\/p>\n Oh yes they are very smart <\/i><\/p>\n Are you a writer? <\/i><\/p>\n No I just scribble <\/i><\/p>\n My name is Jena what is yours?<\/i><\/p>\n Stephen<\/i><\/p>\n Do you have another name? <\/i><\/p>\n Masefield<\/i><\/p>\n I do not have a second name my name is just Jena <\/i><\/p>\n I looked at the woman\u2019s silver suit which was reflecting the artificial light of the cafe<\/p>\n Are you in fashion? <\/i><\/p>\n Why do you ask? <\/i><\/p>\n Because your suit is very fashionable almost punk in appearance <\/i><\/p>\n No I have to wear this suit when I am travelling <\/i><\/p>\n Where are you headed? <\/i><\/p>\n Nowhere in particular<\/i><\/p>\n And you? <\/i><\/p>\n Milton Keynes I am meeting an Eddie Stobart driver there and he is going to let me take photographs of his truck<\/i><\/p>\n There is one over there<\/i><\/p>\n I have already photographed it <\/i><\/p>\n It\u2019s strange but the driver said that he was leaving at ten past and it is now nearly twenty past<\/i><\/p>\n He is most probably speaking to his depot <\/i><\/p>\n Maybe<\/i><\/p>\n I travelled in the cab of an Eddie Stobart truck last week <\/i><\/p>\n That was against the rules <\/i><\/p>\n The driver took pity on me <\/i><\/p>\n What did you think of the truck? <\/i><\/p>\n Very smart and the driver was courteous unlike other drivers <\/i><\/p>\n Have you been attacked?<\/i><\/p>\n No <\/i><\/p>\n It is not a good idea to hitch lifts you know <\/i><\/p>\n It is one of the two ways I travel <\/i><\/p>\n What is the other? <\/i><\/p>\n In my spaceship <\/i><\/p>\n The woman smiled<\/p>\n I would invite you aboard my ship but you are not a truck driver <\/i><\/p>\n Does that matter? <\/i><\/p>\n Yes it does<\/i><\/p>\n So you only invite truck drivers aboard your spaceship <\/i><\/p>\n Correct <\/i><\/p>\n Why only truck drivers? <\/i><\/p>\n So I can breed with them <\/i><\/p>\n Breed with them <\/i><\/p>\n To replenish my race which is dying <\/i><\/p>\n Really <\/i><\/p>\n You do not believe me <\/i><\/p>\n Yes I do <\/i><\/p>\n What happens to the drivers?<\/i><\/p>\n The woman looked at me and laughed<\/p>\n You are kidding me <\/i><\/p>\n No it was a sensible question <\/i><\/p>\n Well I eat them of course<\/i><\/p>\n That is why I need endless cups of coffee <\/i><\/p>\n Is that what happened to the driver of the truck over there <\/i><\/p>\n The Eddie Stobart? <\/i><\/p>\n Yes the only ones I do not mate with are the infected ones \u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n What do you do with them? <\/i><\/p>\n I release them <\/i><\/p>\n But what happens if they come forward <\/i><\/p>\n They will not remember anything as you will not remember this conversation <\/i><\/p>\n The woman in the silver suit stood up and walked towards the automatic doors<\/p>\n She did not turn<\/p>\n I have just met a woman from outer space who seduces only truck drivers and then eats them <\/i><\/p>\n No this sounds too silly <\/i><\/p>\n I have just met the oddest woman who said that she was from outer space and that she seduces and consumes truck drivers<\/i><\/p>\n I think that she is a little mad <\/i><\/p>\n But then again we all are <\/i><\/p>\n In ten minutes I will be driving to Milton Keynes to meet Edward<\/i><\/p>\n Reminder to self <\/i><\/p>\n This might make a good short story <\/i><\/p>\n It is not Slaughterhouse 5 but interesting nonetheless <\/i><\/p>\n It was raining as I crossed the car park to my car<\/p>\n As I opened the door I noticed that in the distance the Eddie Stobart was still parked next to toilets<\/p>\n It was due to have left for Worcester over two hours ago<\/p>\n I wonder if it has suffered mechanical difficulties<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When my nieces and nephews were young we often played a game when driving either to Norwich or to Warwick The game was simple, the first person to see an Eddie Stobart lorry scored a point and the person with the most points at the end of the journey was the winner It was easy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2744"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2744"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2744\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2744"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2744"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2744"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}