{"id":27976,"date":"2025-07-27T06:12:52","date_gmt":"2025-07-27T05:12:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/?p=27976"},"modified":"2025-07-27T06:30:45","modified_gmt":"2025-07-27T05:30:45","slug":"chick-with-a-dick-and-other-stories","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2025\/07\/27\/chick-with-a-dick-and-other-stories\/","title":{"rendered":"Chick with a Dick and Other Stories"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I once owned a Siamese cat <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was a beautiful loving creature  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One day my cat did not return home <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Which worried me as it was out of character <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I finally found my cat badly injured <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It had been attacked by a dog <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My prayers were thankfully answered <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And my cat soon grew better and stronger <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This said I knew that she would not survive <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If the then unidentified dog attacked her again<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So I decided to take precautions <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">After enquiries I found the dog <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A feral breed toxic to the extreme <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I killed it with a garden fork one evening<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Making no secret of my deed <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">An arrest soon followed and I was heavily criticised <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Many said that the dog knew no better <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was all part of its culture they explained<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My defence was that if I had not terminated the beast <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That it would have continued to rape and kill with impunity<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But this was rejected by the chick with a dick <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And I was warned and heavily fined <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was then asked if I would do it again <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Which to me was an absurd question <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I once owned a Siamese cat It was a beautiful loving creature One day my cat did not return home Which worried me as it was out of character I finally found my cat badly injured It had been attacked by a dog My prayers were thankfully answered And my cat soon grew better and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27976","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27976","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27976"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27976\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27984,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27976\/revisions\/27984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27976"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27976"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27976"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}