Do you want to see my bum Aubrey <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you see my bum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have a beautiful bum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would make me very happy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you looked at my bum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well if it makes you happy Juliet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What do you think <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What do you think about my bum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You have a pretty bum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No about the tattoo <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What tattoo <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The tattoo on my left cheek <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What does it say <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Juliet loves Aubrey <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is sweet of you but I am engaged to Jill <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What did you notice about my tattoo <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is was in a very pleasant typeface <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was the Doves Type <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once it was the most beautiful typeface in England <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was said to be the crown jewel <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of the Arts and Crafts movement <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Interesting <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was first used in the five volume Doves Bible <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But in 1916 ended up in the Thames near Hammersmith Bridge <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because a chap named T.J.Cobden-Sanderson threw them into the murky waters <\/p>\n\n\n\n
After his partnership with Emery Walker collapsed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What caused the collapse <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fuck knows <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something like half a million pieces of type <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ended up in the mud <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is it still there <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No well not all of it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Doug and Martin are diving as we speak <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What condition are they in <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Damp cold probably in need of a cup of coffee <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Seriously <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not to bad considering that they have been underwater for a hundred years <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Juliet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can pull your bottoms up <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The postman is coming down the path <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He has seen it all before <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh that it good <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I like to think that it brightens his day <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He lost his mum last year<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How dreadful <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was run over by a milk float <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do milk floats still exist <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seems that they do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you think that I am a strange girl Aubrey <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does Jill show her bum to her friends <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not that I know of <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is she into typefaces <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have never asked her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am now <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You did not think that I was too forward <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not in a bit<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I must say I did not wake up this morning <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thinking that I would be discussing Art and Crafts typefaces whilst looking at your bare bum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can touch it if you like <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or photograph it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What would Jill say <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think that she would understand <\/p>\n\n\n\n
After all it is just a tattoo<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You look confused <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are a unique person Juliet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are one of these rare people who spread happiness <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you make someone happy then it makes you happy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are a rare creature <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do not change <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please do not change <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I might smell after a few days <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ha Ha <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember seeing a French movie some years ago about a girl like you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her goal in life was to make people happy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What as the movie called <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am\u00e9lie<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes it was a lovely movie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is it still playing at the local cinemas <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I doubt it as it was made in 2001<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is available on DVD I believe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh I will look out for it <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Do you want to see my bum Aubrey What Do you see my bum Not really I have a beautiful bum It would make me very happy If you looked at my bum Well if it makes you happy Juliet What do you think What do you think about my bum You have a pretty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28495","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28495","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28495"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28495\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28501,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28495\/revisions\/28501"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28495"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28495"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28495"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}