{"id":2903,"date":"2016-11-30T12:07:18","date_gmt":"2016-11-30T12:07:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=2903"},"modified":"2016-11-30T16:57:47","modified_gmt":"2016-11-30T16:57:47","slug":"las-palmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2016\/11\/30\/las-palmas\/","title":{"rendered":"Las Palmas"},"content":{"rendered":"

Las Palmas<\/strong><\/p>\n

In a dream a failed politician ordered many cases of fine wine<\/p>\n

I knew this to be a scam<\/p>\n

So I reported him to the authorities<\/p>\n

Last week he committed suicide<\/p>\n

By throwing himself from his apartment window<\/p>\n

His daughter owned the apartment<\/p>\n

She is married to my son<\/p>\n

Who lives with his sister<\/p>\n

In an apartment that overlooks the sea<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cop <\/b><\/p>\n

I am a cop<\/p>\n

I have worked in this town<\/p>\n

For six years<\/p>\n

My job is to clear up the mess others leave<\/p>\n

And investigate the dark corners<\/p>\n

I do not think the politician jumped<\/p>\n

He was pushed<\/p>\n

Why jump over a few cases of bent wine?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tungsten <\/b><\/p>\n

I have a passion for fast cars<\/p>\n

And own a Porsche<\/p>\n

A lot of people<\/p>\n

Owe me favours<\/p>\n

Which I often collect<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Captain Alonso \u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Captain Alonso is keen for me to close this case<\/p>\n

As the tourist season<\/p>\n

Is almost upon us<\/p>\n

And dead politicians<\/p>\n

Are bad for business<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bisexual<\/b><\/p>\n

My wife is bisexual<\/p>\n

I knew this when I married her<\/p>\n

Her life fits into the demands of my job<\/p>\n

I am about to ask her<\/p>\n

To seduce the politicians daughter<\/p>\n

Who is also bisexual<\/p>\n

And record their pillow talk<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rapper \u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

My main suspect is a rapper from France<\/p>\n

Who was also fucking<\/p>\n

The daughter of the politician<\/p>\n

But I have yet to discover his motive<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Resolution One <\/b><\/p>\n

Why did you kill the politician?<\/i><\/p>\n

Because he was fucking your daughter <\/i><\/p>\n

You killed him because you were jealous <\/i><\/p>\n

No man I did not <\/i><\/p>\n

I do not mind sharing my women<\/i><\/p>\n

Then why? <\/i><\/p>\n

That an easy question man <\/i><\/p>\n

Is it? <\/i><\/p>\n

It is an easy question <\/i><\/p>\n

Then answer it <\/i><\/p>\n

I killed the politician became he was fucking your daughter <\/i><\/p>\n

And I respect you cops <\/i><\/p>\n

I really do \u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

Resolution Two <\/b><\/p>\n

My wife killed the politician<\/p>\n

Because he was fucking my daughter<\/p>\n

She had become jealous<\/p>\n

And did not want to share her<\/p>\n

My wife wants me to forgive her<\/p>\n

There is nothing to forgive<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Resolution Three <\/b><\/p>\n

I killed that motherfucker of a politician<\/p>\n

There are enough scumbags on the island<\/p>\n

Did you kill the motherfucker because he was fucking your daughter? <\/i><\/p>\n

No <\/i><\/p>\n

Then why did you kill the motherfucker? <\/i><\/p>\n

Because of my fine wines <\/i><\/p>\n

Your fine wines?<\/i><\/p>\n

The motherfucker ripped me off<\/i><\/p>\n

So you killed him because of your fine wines?<\/i><\/p>\n

Yes<\/i><\/p>\n

Is that a motive?<\/i><\/p>\n

Yes<\/i><\/p>\n

Why?<\/i><\/p>\n

Because I find great comfort in my fine wines <\/i><\/p>\n

Do you drink them often? <\/i><\/p>\n

No I have never opened a bottle<\/i><\/p>\n

Describe what you mean by comfort Raul <\/i><\/p>\n

The colour<\/i><\/p>\n

The touch<\/em><\/p>\n

The feel of the glass bottles against your face <\/i><\/p>\n

It is similar to that of a woman\u2019s breast <\/i><\/p>\n

But you would not know about that would yo<\/i>u Captain Alonso?<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Funeral <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

They buried the politician today<\/p>\n

I represented the police force<\/p>\n

His death has been recorded as a suicide<\/p>\n

Suicides are quite common in Las Palmas<\/p>\n

At this time of the year<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Las Palmas In a dream a failed politician ordered many cases of fine wine I knew this to be a scam So I reported him to the authorities Last week he committed suicide By throwing himself from his apartment window His daughter owned the apartment She is married to my son Who lives with his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2903"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2903"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2903\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2903"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2903"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2903"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}