It had to happen in the two weeks leading up to Christmas<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am a football player for a lower league side <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We played a cup game at the beginning of December <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And drew two two after extra time <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The replay was scheduled for the third week of the month <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would have been my last game in December <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We won by three goals but I injured my arm <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was not serious just fucking painful <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Adama had set me certain tasks like buying a large Christmas tree <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I told her that I was in pain but she ignored my feeble protests <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Long story short I purchased a large tree as instructed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And dragged it home with great difficulty <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was due to meet my wife and her sister at six for a coffee<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I took the opportunity to decorate and Illuminate the tree <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To show that I had more than a passing interest<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was very cold so I turned the heating up in our apartment <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All went well until we returned from our shopping trip<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Adama had gone ahead as Andrea was buying some cigarettes<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was waiting for her in the depths of Middle Earth<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When my wife ran towards me looking green and quite pale<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seems that I had dragged the wretched tree through fresh dog shit <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On my way back to the apartment without noticing the ill <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seems that I had decorated and illuminated the tree <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Without noticing that I had dragged it through the shit <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then I increased the heating especially for our guest <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The strange thing was that my wife took little or no interest <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I told her that my injury had vastly improved<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I was hoping to be fit for the quarter final in January <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It had to happen in the two weeks leading up to Christmas I am a football player for a lower league side We played a cup game at the beginning of December And drew two two after extra time The replay was scheduled for the third week of the month It would have been my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29277"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29285,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29277\/revisions\/29285"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}