{"id":3005,"date":"2017-01-09T14:09:27","date_gmt":"2017-01-09T14:09:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stuartmillerosborne.co.uk\/?p=3005"},"modified":"2017-01-09T17:16:36","modified_gmt":"2017-01-09T17:16:36","slug":"judith-in-exchange","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2017\/01\/09\/judith-in-exchange\/","title":{"rendered":"Judith in Exchange"},"content":{"rendered":"

On the 1st<\/sup> of January Judith began making a chocolate cake<\/p>\n

She was helped in her task by her best friend Rosalind<\/p>\n

And a torero fresh from the bull-ring<\/p>\n

The cake was to have a cinnamon topping<\/p>\n

Which was a radical departure from her previous cakes<\/p>\n

That torero who was much taller than either of the women<\/p>\n

Stood next to the refrigerator<\/p>\n

He was taller than the refrigerator<\/p>\n

Raul was the tallest torero in Spain<\/p>\n

But he loved cooking and had happily accepted the invitation<\/p>\n

From Rosalind and Judith to make a chocolate cake<\/p>\n

In their Sevilla apartment<\/p>\n

Which was situated in the middle of the city<\/p>\n

Not far from the tobacco factory<\/p>\n

Where Carmen worked<\/p>\n

Carmen had just been murdered by Don Jose the owner of the tobacco factory and there were many members of the Policia Nacional <\/i>on the streets looking for him<\/p>\n

But he was nowhere to be found<\/p>\n

There were three bowls on the wooden work surface<\/p>\n

Judith had rested a recipe book against the deepest of the three bowls<\/p>\n

Set the grated zucchini in a mesh strainer and hold over bowl two then lightly press with a golden spatula to release the water <\/i><\/p>\n

Remove the recipe book from mixing bowl three (the largest bowl) and place the book against a sturdy cheese-board <\/i><\/p>\n

Using mixing bowl three (the largest bowl) combine the cake mix cinnamon eggs and egg whites and non-fat yogurt <\/i><\/p>\n

Beat at a low speed with an electric mixer for two minutes <\/i><\/p>\n

This should be done in complete silence <\/i><\/p>\n

Do scrape the bowl often <\/i><\/p>\n

Fold on the grated zucchini and then pour into the prepared cake pan <\/i><\/p>\n

As the tallest torero in Spain followed the instructions Rosalind dug her finger into the mix<\/p>\n

Judith playfully smacked her on the hand<\/p>\n

Rosalind repeated her theft and was banished to the kitchen chair and told to read a newspaper<\/p>\n

Judith repeated the theft but was not banished to the kitchen chair for two reasons<\/p>\n

1\/ That there was only one chair in the kitchen and this was already occupied by Rosalind<\/p>\n

2\/ The other reason was that Judith owned the apartment which she had inherited on her release from prison<\/p>\n

Judith had made no cakes in prison<\/p>\n

She had been sentenced to six years imprisonment for killing Holofernes<\/p>\n

As a concession to her beauty Judith was allowed to keep the head of Holofernes in her cell<\/p>\n

Whilst she was incarcerated Rosalind opened a place setting for Judith at the dinner table<\/p>\n

Judith had been released on parole<\/p>\n

She knew Don Jose although not well<\/p>\n

Judith had not met Carmen but Rosalind knew the gypsy well as they shared spa days at a gym in the city<\/p>\n

Both Rosalind and Carmen had apple shaped birth-marks between their ribs<\/p>\n

Judith was aware of Rosalind\u2019s birth mark as they had spent time together on the beach in Barcelona<\/p>\n

Don Jose had mentioned Carmen\u2019s birthmark to Judith in passing<\/p>\n

But she had not seen it in real life as she had not met Carmen<\/p>\n

Judith had decided to attend the mortuary where Carmen lay so that she could see the birth mark for herself<\/p>\n

But the mortuary did not open until to nine in the morning<\/p>\n

It was now seven in the evening<\/p>\n

Bake the cake for between forty-five and fifty minutes or (and this is a tip from the author) until you can insert a silver toothpick into the centre of the cake<\/i><\/p>\n

When withdrawn if the silver toothpick returns clean then the cake is ready <\/i><\/p>\n

Let the cake cool taking into account both summer and winter temperatures <\/i><\/p>\n

Invert the cake and place on to a large plate or platter <\/i><\/p>\n

Cut cake into twelve pieces (never cut the cake into thirteen pieces as this is considered unlucky) <\/i><\/p>\n

If adding a mousse topping <\/i><\/p>\n

Combine tofu cinnamon and pudding mix in bowl two <\/i><\/p>\n

Beat for four minutes with an electric mixer (or at high speed for two minutes) <\/i><\/p>\n

Fold in the whipped topping again with the electric mixer (at a low speed only) <\/i><\/p>\n

Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve <\/i><\/p>\n

In the corner Rosalind was vomiting into bowl one<\/p>\n

She had a yet to be defined allergy to one of the ingredients of the cake<\/p>\n

Being aware of this hazard she had placed bowl one on her lap<\/p>\n

Judith and Raul who was the tallest torero in Spain had agreed that bowl one should not be used<\/p>\n

Bowl one was taken to the bathroom and placed under the shower<\/p>\n

The shower was alerted and warm water soon flooded the contents<\/p>\n

Rosalind now well went to the broom cupboard to fetch a mop and found Don Jose<\/p>\n

He was on the run from the Policia Nacional<\/i><\/p>\n

Rosalind secretly loved Don Jose and had often shared spas with him when Carmen was waxing<\/p>\n

Don Jose did not have any birth marks<\/p>\n

He kissed her on her vomit stained lips<\/p>\n

She thought that he would find her breath repulsive<\/p>\n

But he kissed her again<\/p>\n

He then gave her the bloody flick-knife that he had used to kill Carmen<\/p>\n

Rosalind gave to flick-knife to Judith who had missed her friend and was worried about her well-being<\/p>\n

Raul who was the tallest torero in Spain joined the trio in the area near to the broom cupboard<\/p>\n

They discussed the situation at length<\/p>\n

It was decided that Judith would take the blame for the killing<\/p>\n

She had already served time and was quite used to prison conditions<\/p>\n

In two years she would be sprung from an open prison and would return to baking cakes<\/p>\n

Although much shorter than Raul who was the tallest torero in Spain Don Jose would start a career in the bullring<\/p>\n

Rosalind would marry Don Jose<\/p>\n

Who by the time of their marriage would be the smallest torero in Spain<\/p>\n

They would not hold the reception in Judith\u2019s apartment as originally agreed due to the damage which occurred when the shower flooded<\/p>\n

It drainage had been blocked by bowl one<\/p>\n

The damage was extensive and was not totally covered by the household insurance<\/p>\n

To help to cover the costs Judith became a Mozo de espadas<\/i> and aided Raul in the bullring for many years after her escape<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On the 1st of January Judith began making a chocolate cake She was helped in her task by her best friend Rosalind And a torero fresh from the bull-ring The cake was to have a cinnamon topping Which was a radical departure from her previous cakes That torero who was much taller than either of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3005"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3005"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3005\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}