I was slowly turning into a pineapple<\/p>\n
My skin especially on my legs and around my pubic area<\/p>\n
Was getting rather rough<\/p>\n
My GP recommended plenty of showers<\/p>\n
I was in the shower when you rang me from the railway station<\/p>\n
You wanted to tell me that Venus was exceptionally bright<\/p>\n
But the frost was hard<\/p>\n
And not suitable for tropical fruits<\/p>\n
I missed your call as I was covered in vinegar soap<\/p>\n
And regretted it immediately<\/p>\n
I stepped carefully from the bath<\/p>\n
Very cautious in my actions<\/p>\n
As I knew that pineapples bruised quite easily<\/p>\n
I picked up my phone and wrapped it in a yellow and green towel<\/p>\n
But this was a false precaution<\/p>\n
As I dropped the device into my bath<\/p>\n
The impact triggered a return call<\/p>\n
Which you did not answer<\/p>\n
As your train had arrived<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was slowly turning into a pineapple My skin especially on my legs and around my pubic area Was getting rather rough My GP recommended plenty of showers I was in the shower when you rang me from the railway station You wanted to tell me that Venus was exceptionally bright But the frost was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3034"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3034"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3034\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}