Pretty was sitting on the grass at Donnington Castle<\/p>\n
Her friend Sabrina had accompanied her on the visit<\/p>\n
The previous day paparazzi photographs of Kate Middleton had appeared in the magazine which Pretty was reading quietly<\/p>\n
Sabrina looked up<\/p>\n
Do you think that the photographs were an invasion of the privacy of the couple? <\/i><\/p>\n
No <\/i><\/p>\n
They just wanted to take a holiday and they were disturbed by a photographer <\/i><\/p>\n
So the whole world knows what her breasts look like big deal <\/i><\/p>\n
Wouldn\u2019t it piss you off if you were in her shoes?<\/i><\/p>\n
Or out of them <\/i><\/p>\n
No there are far more important things to worry about than a member of the Royal Family showing her tits off in a European magazine<\/i><\/p>\n
Such as <\/i><\/p>\n
Pretty looked down the slope that led towards Donnigton village<\/p>\n
The Second Battle of Newbury <\/i><\/p>\n
Come again<\/i><\/p>\n
The Second Battle of Newbury <\/i><\/p>\n
Not far from where we are sitting large numbers of men lost their lives <\/i><\/p>\n
Even here at the castle people lost their lives\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n That was hundreds of years ago <\/i><\/p>\n It does not seem possible does it?<\/i><\/p>\n Where was the battle? <\/i><\/p>\n Below the castle just over there<\/i><\/p>\n Were there not two battles? <\/i><\/p>\n Yes there were <\/i><\/p>\n One fought at Wash Common a few miles in that direction <\/i><\/p>\n Both were bloody<\/i><\/p>\n Tell me about them as I know little <\/i><\/p>\n You look on me as a Medusa don\u2019t you? <\/i><\/p>\n No what makes you say that?<\/i><\/p>\n Because I know what so disturbed the Parliamentarians<\/i><\/p>\n You are speaking in riddles Pretty <\/i><\/p>\n Then I will begin \u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n \u00a0Will you begin with the second battle<\/i><\/p>\n Why?<\/i><\/p>\n Because it happened over there or so you said <\/i><\/p>\n Yes it was fought nearby <\/i><\/p>\n On the 26th<\/sup> of October 1644<\/i><\/p>\n Although the King had lost at Marston Moor Parliament was still afraid that the monarch given extra strength could threaten London <\/i><\/p>\n But Charles was not interested in London he was more interested in maintaining the security of Oxford his own capital<\/i><\/p>\n After relieving Banbury he turned his attention to this very castle<\/i><\/p>\n He arrived in Newbury ahead of the Parliamentarians and chose his defensive positions well<\/i><\/p>\n There were cannons positioned at the castle to protect one of the flanks <\/i><\/p>\n A man dressed in battle fatigues interrupted Pretty\u2019s flow<\/p>\n When will the battle commence <\/i><\/p>\n You are a bit late for the battle <\/i><\/p>\n Oh dear I thought I might be <\/i><\/p>\n It happens to us all <\/i><\/p>\n Are you Kate Middleton?<\/i><\/p>\n No my name is Jane but everybody calls me Pretty<\/i><\/p>\n That is because she is Pretty you know <\/i><\/p>\n Why did you think she was Kate Middleton?<\/i><\/p>\n Because of the magazine that she was reading <\/i><\/p>\n I look nothing like Kate Middleton <\/i><\/p>\n I agree but it was an easy mistake to make<\/i><\/p>\n A man dressed in battle fatigues walked away choosing the small path that led to the car park<\/p>\n Why do you think that people mistake you for Kate Middleton?<\/i><\/p>\n I do not know <\/i><\/p>\n I have nothing in common with Kate Middleton <\/i><\/p>\n Apart from your choices when sunbathing <\/i><\/p>\n Apart from my choices when sunbathing<\/i><\/p>\n You have found one similarity Sabrina well done<\/i><\/p>\n But I do not have the paparazzi hounding me <\/i><\/p>\n If you were famous they would <\/i><\/p>\n I am not famous and my tits will not end up in a European magazine <\/i><\/p>\n Pretty stood up suddenly<\/p>\n Do you realise that shit has stolen my magazine <\/i><\/p>\n I did not see it go <\/i><\/p>\n How sad I would have given it to him if he had asked <\/i><\/p>\n He is probably whacking off in the bushes as we speak <\/i><\/p>\n If I was a man and thank God I am not I do not think I would be whacking off over Kate Middleton in the bushes or anywhere else <\/i><\/p>\n You were telling me about the battle<\/i><\/p>\n Oh yes the battle <\/i><\/p>\n Well it all got rather complicated as battles do and Cromwell was forced to attack <\/i><\/p>\n The Royalist defenders should have had the upper hand and should have been able to repel attacks but for some reason they retreated to open ground and were cut down without mercy<\/i><\/p>\n The Royalists also lost some cannons which were turned on them <\/i><\/p>\n There were victories and losses for the Royalists and really the battle ended in a stalemate<\/i><\/p>\n With heavy casualties on both sides <\/i><\/p>\n What about the castle?<\/i><\/p>\n After Charles returned to Oxford the Parliamentarians lay siege to the castle but it was not surrendered until April 1646 and then under favourable circumstances<\/i><\/p>\n Pretty looked at her friend who was stretched out on the grass<\/p>\n Interesting huh? <\/i><\/p>\n Yes very interesting <\/i><\/p>\n You look on me as a Medusa don\u2019t you? <\/i><\/p>\n No what makes you say that?<\/i><\/p>\n Because I know what so disturbed the Parliamentarians<\/i><\/p>\n You are speaking in riddles Pretty <\/i><\/p>\n Pretty lay next to Sabrina and both stared at the deep blue sky<\/p>\n Do you know that the<\/i> Parliamentarians should have won the second battle here in Newbury?<\/i><\/p>\n Why was it stalemate then? <\/i><\/p>\n Because although the Parliamentarians had something like a two to one advantage the leaders were bickering amongst themselves <\/i><\/p>\n That was their fault line <\/i><\/p>\n Why were they bickering amongst themselves?<\/i><\/p>\n Because they had listened to Medusa <\/i><\/p>\n You are speaking in riddles Pretty <\/i><\/p>\n 38 35 D6 QUB <\/i><\/p>\n Sorry <\/i><\/p>\n That was the sequence that the Parliamentarians should have ignored but in strange way by making this mistake they won the decisive victory and it cost the King his life<\/i><\/p>\n The man dressed in battle fatigues approached Pretty and Sabrina<\/p>\n They both stood up slightly alarmed<\/p>\n There is no need to be scared of me as I am just a humble creature <\/i><\/p>\n You stole my magazine <\/i><\/p>\n I am finished with it now <\/i><\/p>\n Thank you <\/i><\/p>\n You could have just asked me for it <\/i><\/p>\n You might have thought I was a bit strange <\/i><\/p>\n As if I do not now <\/i><\/p>\n I would not like to think what you did with it <\/i><\/p>\n I was very careful <\/i><\/p>\n Why did you just not go to the local shop and buy a custard mag there? <\/i><\/p>\n Because I have very specialised fantasies <\/i><\/p>\n What <\/i><\/p>\n I can only achieve orgasm if I look at revealing pictures of the Royal Family <\/i><\/p>\n Any Royal Family? <\/i><\/p>\n Yes I am not too choosy <\/i><\/p>\n For many years I existed on a diet of Princess Caroline of Monaco and her sister Stephanie <\/i><\/p>\n Did you need a change? <\/i><\/p>\n No I was quite happy with them <\/i><\/p>\n So why steal my magazine? <\/i><\/p>\n Because my photographs were stolen when my flat was burgled <\/i><\/p>\n What about Diana?<\/i><\/p>\n Oh the Holy Grail <\/i><\/p>\n Topless photos of her exist but they have never been published <\/i><\/p>\n It has caused me a great deal of pain <\/i><\/p>\n Sabrina bent forward and retrieved a small book from her bag<\/p>\n Here there are plenty of revealing paintings of royal mistresses in this book <\/i><\/p>\n But they were not of the right blood <\/i><\/p>\n Here is a photo of Fergie taken in 1992 <\/i><\/p>\n She does not do it for me <\/i><\/p>\n Even my pain has limits you know <\/i><\/p>\n Do you always hang around the castle hoping to find a magazine showing royals in undress? <\/i><\/p>\n This is my first visit <\/i><\/p>\n You scared the shit out of me<\/i><\/p>\n I did not mean to <\/i><\/p>\n Is this your first visit? <\/i><\/p>\n No we come here often <\/i><\/p>\n I was telling my friend about the second battle that was fought near here <\/i><\/p>\n I am an expert on the first battle <\/i><\/p>\n I know a great deal about that battle but there are gaps I need to fill <\/i><\/p>\n Perhaps I can be of assistance <\/i><\/p>\n Maybe but another time <\/i><\/p>\n Do your realise that the Parliamentarians should have won the second battle <\/i><\/p>\n Yes I realise that<\/i><\/p>\n Because although the Parliamentarians had something like a two to one advantage the leaders were bickering amongst themselves <\/i><\/p>\n That was their fault line <\/i><\/p>\n Why were they bickering amongst themselves?<\/i><\/p>\n Because they had listened to Medusa <\/i><\/p>\n 38 35 D6 QUB <\/i><\/p>\n That was the sequence that the Parliamentarians should have ignored but in strange way by making this mistake they won the decisive victory and it cost the King his life<\/i><\/p>\n I agree <\/i><\/p>\n Well I must be off now and I am sincerely sorry for stealing your magazine <\/i><\/p>\n You can have it <\/i><\/p>\n Really <\/i><\/p>\n Yes it means more to you than it does me <\/i><\/p>\n I have Sabrina but you have nothing <\/i><\/p>\n You have made me very happy <\/i><\/p>\n I am Medusa and if by any chance I marry a royal prince <\/i><\/p>\n I will make sure that I am papped and I will send the original proofs to you<\/i><\/p>\n You are a good person <\/i><\/p>\n So are you it is not often that experts on the two Battles of Newbury meet and exchange information <\/i><\/p>\n The man dressed in battle fatigues left and did not return<\/p>\n Later as they ate supper in their small cottage Sabrina turned to Pretty<\/p>\n She had a puzzled look on her face<\/p>\n Do you know that chap who we spoke to earlier <\/i><\/p>\n What about him? <\/i><\/p>\n Why were you so kind to him? <\/i><\/p>\n So were you <\/i><\/p>\n I was just following your lead <\/i><\/p>\n But why were you so kind to him? <\/i><\/p>\n He just seemed to be some kind of oddball to me who got off wearing battle<\/i> fatigues and looking at photos of topless royals <\/i><\/p>\n You do not see it do you? <\/i><\/p>\n You are speaking in riddles again Pretty <\/i><\/p>\n It was clear he was a government spy and if Charles is going to return to the throne then we will need to keep him very close <\/i><\/p>\n Believe me it will work to our advantage Sabrina \u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n Pretty was sitting on the grass at Donnington Castle Her friend Sabrina had accompanied her on the visit The previous day paparazzi photographs of Kate Middleton had appeared in the magazine which Pretty was reading quietly Sabrina looked up Do you think that the photographs were an invasion of the privacy of the couple? No […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3042"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3042"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3042\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"