My father was a newsagent in a country town <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was the senior paperboy in a country town <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there was a catch as my rounds included <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Three of the surrounding villages all up steep hills <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In all it was a five mile round journey in all weathers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This said it paid well and I always had pocket pounds
I had fallen out of love with my small country school <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I felt that it did not challenge me I wanted Will Shakespeare <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But was forced to read about Captain January and Percy White<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My English teacher was Mrs Anne Rochester-Briggs cut out of stone <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She had once been attractive but time had not been kind
Mrs Anne Rochester-Briggs lived in Cedars Wood <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And every day without fail I delivered The Times <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can remember the December morning in question <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fairy Feet the silent paperboy was walking towards the house <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When he spotted a middle aged woman quite lounge naked
I was more surprised than shocked it did not seem real <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But my attention was focused on her massive bush <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was excessive much thicker a wider than the few I had ever seen <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As mathematics would have it I had Double English that day <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I could not get Mrs Anne Rochester-Briggs out of my mind
Even after Captain January had been captured by the Germans <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I watched as Mrs Anne Rochester-Briggs walked around the classroom <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Reading from Shot at Dawn and asking rather obvious questions <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I knew her better than my classmates I knew all her fading secrets <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her small breasts and saggy bottom and her spectacular black bush
A week or so later I fell totally in love with the mathematics of coincidence <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I saw Janet Keys Smith naked in her garden bedroom <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did not really care for Janet Keys Smith as she was always rude to me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although she was very lovely in a Eurasian sort of way <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her father was English and her attractive mother was Chinese
My name was Charlie Petersen but she always called me Petersen<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which I disliked as I always called Janet or Jan for short <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She had been seen by Fairy Feet the silent paperboy in all her glory <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had first thought to keep this to myself a present on a bleak wet morning <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But decided to tell Janet just to get her back for her bitchy behaviours
At first she did not believe me but I described her theatre in detail <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The details of her toilette her underwear and the horse scar on her bum <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In an instant she changed I was no longer Petersen but Charlie her new friend <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was at about this time I decided to read mathematics at university<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I studied linear mathematics and the mathematics of coincidence and did well
Fairy Feet the Silent Paperboy<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My father was a newsagent in a country town I was the senior paperboy in a country town But there was a catch as my rounds included Three of the surrounding villages all up steep hills In all it was a five mile round journey in all weathers This said it paid well and I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30634"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30634\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30638,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30634\/revisions\/30638"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}