Mona we have not entertained for a while <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is because I buried the ashes of the budgie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where Toots could see the trains for eternity <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But we do not live next to a railway<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We live next to a canal <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is that long wet thing near the rockery <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Toots was not keen on the barges you know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He never saw a barge again<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After you set fire to his cage <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was his tenth birthday <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rule One – no birthday cakes in budgie cages <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rule Two – do not lie to the vet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did not lie to the vet <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You said that you were from Serbia and spoke no English <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Poor Toots was just a pile of smouldering feathers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I had to say that he had spontaneously combusted <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did Mr Wicks believe you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I invited him to our German Expressionist Evening<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you invite his fluffy German Shepherd <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was no room for him on the towpath <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The last time somebody tied their dog to a barge <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It ended up somewhere north of Aberdeen<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You note that we are having a German Expressionist Evening<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What are we supposed to do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Get all German Expressionist and dance barefoot in the garden <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We do not have a garden Steve <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes just a smelly weed strangled canal <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wondered why all my bedding flowers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Were found floating dead in the local locks <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We could get all German Expressionist on one of the barges <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are so many colourful examples passing by <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you not think the owners would object <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We would share the vol-au-vent’s with them <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You make the best vol-au-vent’s in Bath <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I normally make them in the kitchen <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No contamination from our herbal shampoos <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is very important <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mono I have a question please answer it honestly <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes I do like Taylor Swift <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is all very pure nothing sordid <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No not that question <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did you after Toots died dye his feathers green blue and red <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wanted him to look better <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Toots was just a lump of incinerated budgie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You were fooling nobody but yourself <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But Mr Wicks sent him to a budgie convalescent home in St Ives <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It had all the facilities for budgies to get better <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Art classes and more art classes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Art classes in German and Spanish <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And lessons on how to get the best out of your allotment <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Toots ended up in the bin for used coffee cups <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Coffee cups <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did not know that Toots liked coffee <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tea yes but not coffee<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Black or White <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Silly Boy <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mona we have not entertained for a while That is because I buried the ashes of the budgie Where Toots could see the trains for eternity But we do not live next to a railway We live next to a canal It is that long wet thing near the rockery Toots was not keen on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32398"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32398\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32408,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32398\/revisions\/32408"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}