{"id":32838,"date":"2026-03-17T06:37:31","date_gmt":"2026-03-17T06:37:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/?p=32838"},"modified":"2026-03-17T10:13:50","modified_gmt":"2026-03-17T10:13:50","slug":"gracie-and-grahams-first-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2026\/03\/17\/gracie-and-grahams-first-date\/","title":{"rendered":"Gracie and Graham&#8217;s First Date"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I must say Gracie that you are the most beautiful girl <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That I have ever seen <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am on the rag Graham <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Is that why you are wearing black <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes that is so sweet of you to notice <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Have you ever shit your pants <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Normally when I have eaten wog food by mistake <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you mean that the Alsatian was not completely dead <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Spot on Gracie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No it is real Graham <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I get hundreds when I am on especially between my legs <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Does it smell <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is for you to find out when we get married <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But I thought you would be my friend with benefits <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am your friend and yes I am on benefits <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Like all the other lazy cunts <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Gracie back to the Alsatian dogs <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Is that why the take away&#8217;s<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"> Have so many guard dogs <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Well they were not fucking them <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe they were and then <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Taking them out for walkies <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Is that why you see dogs dragging <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Their bums on rough surfaces <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is because they have crabs <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have seen this happening in large cities <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Far from the sea <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you mean Birmingham <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is far from the sea<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Where are these poor creatures infected<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Normally in Iceland I believe<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Enough I am more of a cat person myself <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Are you a dyke Gracie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I like dykes and all types of irrigation systems <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Have you made any porn <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Girl to girl <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No war to war <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Political Gracie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Have I offended you Graham <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No far from it <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">War is Kind <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It cleans out cluttered rooms<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have a treat for you <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have a nut allergy<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Shit happens<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I wish that was all that happened<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Are you allergic to anything else <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Blacks Faggots Chicks with Dicks Fat Ugly Women Coloured Pencils<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The usual suspects <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Strangely I am not allergic <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To anything else <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you hate everything <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not in the least <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have a goldfish named everything <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I love my goldfish dearly <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Even though it is dead in the freezer <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Did it jump out of its bowl into the frozen wastes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No I put it there after my cat drowned <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Suicide <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No Snowy was white <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Are you are going to give me your rag Gracie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Later you naughty boy  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then what <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I say turn around <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Turn around <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Is that beautiful waitress giving me an upskirt again <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No panties <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You noticed <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is always the quiet ones <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Are you a quiet one Gracie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not in the least <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It depends on which hole you are using <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Turn around <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The waitress has fucked off <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She is having a dump <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here are her soiled panties <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">An elephantine dump I would imagine <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Judging on the shit they serve here <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There it is <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Wow thank you Gracie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">An express train with a suicide trapped under the wheels <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Suicide <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not just any suicide <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But one of an immigrant who was unable to adapt to the way of life in this our green and pleasant land <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">All my fantasies have come true <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Apart from you face sitting me <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am looking forward to visiting the Red Sea <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It decided to jump under the Western Express <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes Yes Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Wow Oh Wow <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I think I have soiled my thong <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You wear a thong <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No grubby Y Fronts <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But a lacy thong sounds better<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It brings in more punters <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Are you a sex worker Graham <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No I just lay on my back and look moody <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Where have you been all my life Clive<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Graham <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Clive is my brother <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In prison <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What did you do <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I killed a filthy homosexual <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That was a beastly thing to do <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The second judge said that <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What happened to the first judge <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Think about it <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It It It It It <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Were you attacked <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No I just do not like them <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rather like bus conductors <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Have you ever murdered any bus conductors <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes on routes 6 28 &amp; 496 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was looking to kill the bus conductor on route 69 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But it went driver only last year <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Except on Sundays and Bank Holidays <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bad luck <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Have you ever been in prison Gracie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What did you do <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I sliced the dick off of a middle aged pervert on an inward bound trip <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In Wales<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No out in the countryside  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I then served it to my fellow hikers <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Over the campfire later in the evening <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">How long did you get<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">About three inches as he was diseased <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No I meant in prison <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Life behind bars <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What about your drink problem Gracie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I agree <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why was the sentence so savage <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sentence is not a savage word Graham <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is really a rather boring word like shopfront <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I served his cock without gravy <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Gracie how wicked<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What a bitch you are <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And I pissed in the HP Sauce <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Gracie I think I love you <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you love me <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No I do not fancy orientals <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you love your little Graham <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No I think you are a thick cunt <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am not thick Gracie <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then you are just a cunt <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is good enough for me <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is going to be the start of a beautiful fuck ship <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Drink <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Please <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Is your water still strong <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pure acid <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I cannot wait      <br><br><br><br>Silly Boy is Dead Again (2020)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I must say Gracie that you are the most beautiful girl That I have ever seen I am on the rag Graham Is that why you are wearing black Yes that is so sweet of you to notice Have you ever shit your pants Yes When Normally when I have eaten wog food by mistake [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32838"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32838\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32845,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32838\/revisions\/32845"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}