We had a small sweet shop <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Near the nuclear power station <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my home village<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before it burnt down <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before it burnt down <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was called Merry Maids <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And run by my three sisters <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who had identical chests and prominent nipples <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They were named Nicky Nichola Susan and Dave<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My favourite sister was Mandy All About Mandy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who was also very flat chested <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But had three decent nipples <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two for me and four four Dave<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Indeed I thought she was a boy previously rented <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I was in love so deeply in love<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So extremely deeply in love <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I bought Mandy a rare wardrobe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This presented me with a problem <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As we could not get it up her stairs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mandy wore her wardrobe on our first date <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which was a disaster as injuries were received <\/p>\n\n\n\n
From loose splinters and those sharp metal bits <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The winter dresses were the main problem <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although the gossamer summer dresses <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Presented their own challenges<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like Water for Chocolate is a Mexican film<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which was shot on a space station <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As it passed high over Hungary <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But this has little to so with my tale <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Indeed I do not have a tale <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Otherwise I would look like a zebra <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The summer dresses were full of static <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which caused random fires around the village <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Especially when we were celebrating our wedding<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the thirty second of may last year at about five am <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mandy was giving me a below job <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In one of the radioactive passages under the reactor <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Both of us were guilty as we got carried away <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And created a fire which in turn set the power station alight <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the resulting explosion most of the Isle of White <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was blown into outer space and souvenir kiosks <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Selling coloured sand could be found on Saturn <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jupiter and three of her moons <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mandy and Eye survived or at least <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our eight index fingers survived<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nicky Nichola Susan and Dave all survived the explosion <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As their outsize breasts took most of the immediate impact <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sadly though Merry Maids did not make it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although I am told that there is now a branch in Heaven <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Quite why trees can be found in eternity<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is another question for another day
Silly Boy likes Cooked Turnips<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Turnips have no opinions <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although they do feel the heat <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We had a small sweet shop Near the nuclear power station In my home village Before it burnt down Before it burnt down It was called Merry Maids And run by my three sisters Who had identical chests and prominent nipples They were named Nicky Nichola Susan and Dave My favourite sister was Mandy All […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32866"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32866"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32866\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32880,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32866\/revisions\/32880"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32866"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32866"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32866"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}