Hi Samantha <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I trust you are well <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We have just seen Sephine off<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So it is only Joe and Josie<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do hope that Sephine’s mum will be okay <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seems that she caught one of those exotic imported diseases <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which are so uncomfortable and so fucking preventable <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Poor Sephine Poor Amanda Poor Robert <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On a lighter note Josie went to the local sauna last week <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was the one in the local leisure centre <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I should have been aware what was coming <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With all the gender neutral bogs and a huge receptionist named Lucy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As you are aware when we have taken saunas together <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We are always totally naked <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is the only and the proper way to enjoy a sauna <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So yours truly sat quite naked on the upper bench <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was soon joined by a couple of fat girls dressed in towels <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They said very little as if rather shocked at skinny Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then the most enormous black woman crashed in and stared at me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jealousy will get you nowhere my dear I thought to myself <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then she left the cabin and the light soon returned <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I lay back and closed my eyes<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that did not last long as the receptionist Lucy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Popped into the sauna and said that I was breaking the rules <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What fucking rules <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nudity was not allowed in these council run saunas<\/p>\n\n\n\n
WHAT !!!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was then that I noticed that six foot Lucy<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Had an an Adam’s Apple <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That and it was staring at my and my tits and cunt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As you can imagine I was very offended and after a shower <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I insisted on seeing the manager of the leisure centre <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like me she was a Bitch on Heat which made things worse <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was explained to me that some fat people <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Suffered with a low body confidence <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And they were uncomfortable with nudity <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pointed out that the whole idea was to let your skin breathe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As they do in Sweden Denmark and Finland <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She did not really answer my question as you can imagine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I then asked why a chick with a dick had been in the girly area <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was because it identified as a woman and the council respected this <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This made me so fucking angry as it always ends in tears<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Joe is going to tear the council to pieces as he is good at that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He considers people like Lucy mentally ill and therefore dangerous <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The other was just a short sighted rule favouring the fat ones <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It said it all that the fat white girls did not say anything <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whist – need I say more Sam – a chip on her massive shoulder – maybe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you remember the sauna when we were at Cambridge <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I still remember it fondly as there were no hard and fast rules <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just common sense ones such as couples only and single women <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No men were permitted to enter unless with a proper woman <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This stopped all the perverts and homosexual men spoiling things <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was just a nice balance even when Joe and Josie popped in <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you remember the odd looks we got <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We were and still are identical and to this day this confuses <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was sad when the sauna closed down<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the road widening was always going to happen <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A piece of Cambridge vanished when those buildings were lost<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although I have a decent skin it does get grubby deep down <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is one of the penalties of living in a city <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am certainly not going back to the leisure centre <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even if Joe solicits a sincere apology <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have looked at other saunas <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there is something about them <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even in this lovely area <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are there any decent ones where you live Sam<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What a pointless letter this is <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With all the shit going on around the world <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I worry about saunas and the svelte Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How shallow I am <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A mad girl as Joe calls me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is just that so much makes me cross <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am supposed to the calm one like Sephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I am the equal of Joe with my volatility<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe I do not pick fights as he does <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the anger is very much there <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Joe understands his anger and uses it as a weapon <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But Josie does not understand Josie at times <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is it enough of Josie feeling sorry for herself <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please do come down it would be lovely to see ewe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Richmond is so lovely<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As the days grow longer and warmer<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This said I will be seeing Mummy next month <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do not be a stranger it would be lovely to c ewe
Love Josie xxx<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi Samantha I trust you are well We have just seen Sephine off So it is only Joe and Josie I do hope that Sephine’s mum will be okay It seems that she caught one of those exotic imported diseases Which are so uncomfortable and so fucking preventable Poor Sephine Poor Amanda Poor Robert On […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33072","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33072","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33072"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33072\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33080,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33072\/revisions\/33080"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33072"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33072"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33072"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}