It was all about being lonely <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is this a play for five characters <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No six <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can only count five <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have you counted yourself <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then you are a cunt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My name is Stephen <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then you are a cunt Stephen <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My talk is why fat women <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Walk along beaches <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With very little on <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All people should be free to choose <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who said that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is your name <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Louise<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I used to know a Louise <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She was very tall and blonde <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How tall are you Louise <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Five two <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Five three <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would you walk along a beach <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With very little on <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No as I consider myself overweight <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then why do you not wear a belt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because the buckle rubs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you realise that every time you get up<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You reveal acres of your butt crack <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do I <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Spanish girl who is sitting next to you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is called Ines <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She is far taller than you and considerably more beautiful <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is a pleasure to gaze upon her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When this lecture ends would you please give me your time <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am not wearing a watch <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We have a comic genius in our midst <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You may be fat small and exceedingly plain <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But you are comic genius <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Please see me at close of play <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I will give you twenty pounds to buy a belt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Be nice to the world Louise and it will be nice to you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ines why do you think Louise is here at the summer school <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can think of better places to be than Manchester in the heat <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mark <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ines does not speak English <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She finds English an exceedingly difficult language <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are Tony yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Is is short for Antonio<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Really <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was my fathers name <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He was named after his father<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who was anally raped by a communist in 1938 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where did this communist come from <\/p>\n\n\n\n
From his mothers cunt as we all do <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Comic genius <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are a comic genius Louise <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Manchester <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I cannot sat that I like homosexuals <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I do not hate them <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is no way I would harm one <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What about three homosexuals <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Comic genius <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is just that I cannot see the attraction of anal sex <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Neither do I <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought you did not speak English <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I speak a little English <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is nice to know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My church does not approve of anal sex <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you a Catholic Ines <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do not understand you Mark <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My name is Colin <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who asked you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am the fifth character <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you a homosexual Colin <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Never in a million years <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would string them all up <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But do not choose to do so <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why is that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because I live in the desert<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are no trees in the desert <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So even though I would string them all up <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would not be able to do so <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then why are you attending this summer school <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because I am looking for a fuck <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So am I <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought that was the case Louise <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am a virgin you know <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Knock me down with a feather and call me Margaret <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I feel that my body clock is in overdrive <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would not fuck you even if I was paid to do so <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is not nice Colin <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I find Louise repulsive <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I had a choice I would fuck Ines <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As she has an air of mystery about her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I fear that Antonio has beaten you to that prize <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But Antonio is her brother <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Brothers should not fuck sisters <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would you fuck your sister Mark <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am an only child <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you had a sister Mark <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That depends <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are confusing me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do not have a physical sister <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I have a dream sister <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And she is very ugly <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would rather fuck Louise <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you had a choice between Louise and Ines <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who would you fuck <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obviously Ines but that is impossible <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because her English is very limited
End of Act One<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It was all about being lonely Is this a play for five characters No six I can only count five Have you counted yourself No Then you are a cunt My name is Stephen Then you are a cunt Stephen My talk is why fat women Walk along beaches With very little on All people […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34629"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34629"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34629\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34636,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34629\/revisions\/34636"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34629"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34629"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34629"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}