It was not uncommon to find Jane <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sunbathing topless in our secluded garden <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a relaxing and natural occupation <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Normally if the doorbell rang <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My wife would grab a loose shirt <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then answer the door <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a tested and reliable formula <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But on this occasion it failed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As Jane was listening to lazy jazz <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She did not hear the softly spoken doorbell <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had previously asked a workman to pop around <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And look at our winter damaged fence <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This he did and on not getting an answer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Risked our rhododendrons and daisy swarms <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And came face to face with my topless wife <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who although a little surprised just said hello<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My solitary request was explained in some detail <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jane then got up and walked towards the roses <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The workman who was slowly regaining his composure <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was helped when my wife apologised for her nakedness <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is okay I am a man of the world was his shaded reply<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This absurd theatre lasted only a few minutes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
An estimate was promised and the workman soon left <\/p>\n\n\n\n
During the next few hours Jane slowly considered <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How best to inflict the maximum pain upon my person <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It was not uncommon to find Jane Sunbathing topless in our secluded garden It was a relaxing and natural occupation Normally if the doorbell rang My wife would grab a loose shirt And then answer the door It was a tested and reliable formula But on this occasion it failed As Jane was listening to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34807","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34807","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34807"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34807\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34812,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34807\/revisions\/34812"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34807"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34807"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34807"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}