Well not really dead but really sick <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All the usual fun things <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Like taking a fat woman <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Up her locked back door<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I used to be a famous footballer <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But then a war came along <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wars are always great fun <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Especially if one does not care <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For the enemy or their country of origin <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On day one and a half I was hit by a shell <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And nearly drowned next to a rave <\/p>\n\n\n\n
During the next few days I kept falling over <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And was told by a doctor <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That my leg was missing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which was fucking careless <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As my local railway had not installed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A cripple lift but a rough level crossing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which meant that for most of the day <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Strawberry Halt was covered in wheelchairs <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It also had implications on my football career <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I was unable to play in the second leg <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Against Who Gives a Shit About Your Country FC <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We won the fist leg one nil but it should have been two <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I missed from the spot in the last minute <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hate fucking dogs as they never keep still <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well that is me\/ I am going to spend \/The rest<\/p>\n\n\n\n
of my miserable life\/ Trapped in a wheelchair <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Annoying people\/ getting in the way \/and collecting smells <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In a few years I will qualify for a mobility scooter<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which I will promptly drive under a bus full of spongers <\/p>\n\n\n\n
La col\u00e8re du peuple \/Or so the song goes <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Well not really dead but really sick All the usual fun things Like taking a fat woman Up her locked back door I used to be a famous footballer But then a war came along Wars are always great fun Especially if one does not care For the enemy or their country of origin On […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35179"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35179\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35180,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35179\/revisions\/35180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}