After a long flight I finally found the hotel <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then found my room and then my bed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there was one rather large problem <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was a dead businessman between the sheets <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looked so at peace and his coffee was still warm <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I took a sip as I was dry because of the hot weather <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was either from Iceland Brazil or South Wales <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I favoured its sharp yet rather decaying taste <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My line of thought was then rudely interrupted <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When a naked girl of tender years came out of the wall <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She introduced herself as the senior chambermaid <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who was responsible for all the rooms on level twelve <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And was showering after the businessman had paid for sex <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It appeared that she was so good at this secondary occupation <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That the poor man had hit an unseen rock<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And had sunk quickly during his final voyage <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She offered her services to me but I told her I was far too perverted <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I asked the chambermaid when the event had occurred <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As the businessman if left would soon fall foul of rigor mortis <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And would be rather difficult if not impossible to move <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was then she asked me to help her throw the businessman <\/p>\n\n\n\n
From the ornate balcony that overlooked the wide river below <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I agreed as it was an instantly sackable offence <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To ride fuck or face sit guests with heart conditions<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The businessman only slightly disturbed the idyllic surface<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of the river as it peacefully travelled through the city <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But nobody noticed or really cared as it was a common sight <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To see dead businessmen being thrown from high hotels <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was as the chambermaid was slowly getting dressed <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I noticed a sequence of numbers on her bare bottom <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I enquired if she was a student of mathematics at a university <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or just a trendy girl wearing fashionable death camp tattoo <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But in truth it was just the telephone number<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of her recently married boyfriend <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
After a long flight I finally found the hotel And then found my room and then my bed But there was one rather large problem There was a dead businessman between the sheets He looked so at peace and his coffee was still warm I took a sip as I was dry because of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35330","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35330","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35330"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35330\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35331,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35330\/revisions\/35331"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35330"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35330"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35330"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}