Even if you are the most miserable bastard in the world <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You have got to be kind <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nothing else works
What is that Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is something that Josie picked up for me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where <\/p>\n\n\n\n
At a summer fete in Mummy’s village <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What is it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A mounted display detailing the development of golf balls <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over the last few centuries
Wooden c 1590<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Feathery c 1790 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gutta Percha c 1850<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Machine Gutty c 1880<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Haskell c 1900
But you do not like golf <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would not say that<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is just that it is one of the rare sports <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That I do not excel in <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But you have said that you consider it is a game
For cunts with small dicks <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My past always comes back to haunt me <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I do have friends who play golf <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You actually have friends <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you pay them <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am I your friend <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course as we are engaged <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have known you forever <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why do you think Josie purchased it <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because it was Mad Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before she caught her train <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You two were deep in an argument <\/p>\n\n\n\n
About one of her silly friends <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who you had brought to tears <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have since apologised<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can be such a cunt Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two and two never make five Sephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I agree but you do shoot from the hip <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is all part of the package <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Overall I am just too honest sometimes<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would you have spoken to me like that <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even if I had agreed with Mary Moon<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is unlikely that you would have agreed with her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But suppose I had agreed with her <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would you have brought me to tears <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because you are incredibly beautiful Sephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mary Moon is not in the least beautiful <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She is the size of a pyramid <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Without beauty the world is nothing <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That is so cruel Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are we going to fight <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have no intention to fight with you <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just because I am a cool calm blonde <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Does not mean that I could not slap you sometimes <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Deep down I am as fiery as Josephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why did you call her Josephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because that is her name <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We all call her Josie <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You very rarely call her Josephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have noticed on the rare occasions <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When she fucks you off <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That you call her Josephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grow up Josephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are so like your brother Josephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have I fucked you off Sephine <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then why are you getting defensive <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How heavy is that golf thing of yours Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It has a decent weight for its size <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Enough to kill a man <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Possibly <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would probably do more damage to a cat <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why do you ask <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because even beautiful blonde girls <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can fantasise when the planets are in alignment<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I have about three days to live <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do not push your luck Joe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just do not push your luck <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Even if you are the most miserable bastard in the world You have got to be kind Nothing else works What is that Joe It is something that Josie picked up for me Where At a summer fete in Mummy’s village What is it A mounted display detailing the development of golf balls Over the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35336"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35336"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35336\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35339,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35336\/revisions\/35339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}