I had always liked camping in France<\/p>\n
And often visited the Notre-Dame campsite <\/p>\n
Which was a hour shy of Pau <\/p>\n
In a way I was rather protective of my happy campsite <\/p>\n
And was not best pleased when at a very early hour<\/p>\n
The woman from my neighbouring tent <\/p>\n
Left the sanctuary of her dreams<\/p>\n
And wandered towards the nearby shrubs and flowers <\/p>\n
Who happened next both excited and disgusted me<\/p>\n
In short she removed her black panties <\/p>\n
And pissed into the small golden flowers <\/p>\n
The same thing happened again the following morning <\/p>\n
On this occasion I tried to bully her into submission <\/p>\n
I exited my tent with a cheery greeting <\/p>\n
This made absolutely no difference as the same thing happened again <\/p>\n
Although by now she has changed into a violet tee shirt <\/p>\n
The trouble was that I was rather enjoying her exhibition<\/p>\n
It was stirring up voyeuristic feelings that I never knew I had <\/p>\n
I was beginning to become really attracted to the her shapely backside <\/p>\n
Although that said I was totally disgusted with her behaviour <\/p>\n
My French was not really up to scratch so I kept quiet <\/p>\n
And then I had a brainwave which I hoped would illustrate my feelings <\/p>\n
As I was tired of buying endless bottles of Evian <\/p>\n
To keep the flowers fresh and sweet <\/p>\n
I had inherited from my mother a serious artistic ability <\/p>\n
My mother was a well known and much appreciated portrait artist <\/p>\n
Whereas I had become an illustrator specialising in graphic novels <\/p>\n
My plan was to record in three or four frames Marie Claude’s morning toilet <\/p>\n
The results were rather good and I was impressed with my pen <\/p>\n
It was a subtle reminder not to piss anywhere in the vicinity of tents <\/p>\n
I slipped my illustrations into an envelope and attached it to her outdoor chair <\/p>\n
When I woke up next morning she was gone and had vacated her tent space <\/p>\n
It was as I was congratulating myself on a job well done <\/p>\n
That I discovered a strange envelope <\/p>\n
Hidden between my sleeping bag and camping pillow <\/p>\n
The envelope contained a pornographic drawing of me<\/p>\n
Which I cannot begin to discuss in polite company <\/p>\n
It was accompanied by a short note which read<\/p>\n
Je ne m’appelle pas Marie-Claude<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I had always liked camping in France And often visited the Notre-Dame campsite Which was a hour shy of Pau In a way I was rather protective of my happy campsite And was not best pleased when at a very early hour The woman from my neighbouring tent Left the sanctuary of her dreams And […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35456","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35456","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35456"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35456\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35459,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35456\/revisions\/35459"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}