{"id":4091,"date":"2020-09-02T09:25:05","date_gmt":"2020-09-02T08:25:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartpoetry.art\/?p=4091"},"modified":"2020-09-02T09:25:05","modified_gmt":"2020-09-02T08:25:05","slug":"christopher-taught-my-dog-to-swim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2020\/09\/02\/christopher-taught-my-dog-to-swim\/","title":{"rendered":"Christopher taught my Dog to Swim"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>I live in a small hut on the edge of Lake Nothing<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Or at least\u00a0during the summer months I do<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>For the rest of the year I vacation in downtown LA<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Where I own a business selling personalised pencils<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>My cousin is a girl called Christopher taught who has swum for the USA<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>She is also a dog whisperer who helps our canine friends<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Recently one of her pupils became a daytime talk show host<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>And last year one of her Golden Retrievers was elected to the Senate<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I have a small dog called my Dog who is cowardly to the extreme<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Last month it was hospitalised for a few days when an empty chips packet alarmed it<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>It also hates water and waits at the railroad station when I shower with Christopher after a hit<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Our latest\u00a0hit involved the killing a gangster named poor Mike who was made entirely of water and lived deep in Lake Something<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>We knew this was going to be difficult as we are both well known having a TV show called The Hit Man and Her<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Which has topped the ratings in California on several occasions<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>It was obvious that our pet would have to make the hit so Christopher taught my Dog to Swim<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>She was as good as her word and within two months my Dog was a strong swimmer and was having Olympic trials<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>The shame was that the hit never took place as Lake Something dried up in the extreme heat and poor Mike turned to dust<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I live in a small hut on the edge of Lake Nothing Or at least\u00a0during the summer months I do For the rest of the year I vacation in downtown LA Where I own a business selling personalised pencils My cousin is a girl called Christopher taught who has swum for the USA She is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4091"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4091"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4091\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4091"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4091"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4091"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}