Mr & Mrs Coastal Path grew Marigolds in their small garden<\/p>\n
The Marigolds resented this as they wanted to explore the world<\/p>\n
So they romped naked around the garden to upset the neighbours<\/p>\n
In view of this and the complaints from both sides of the road<\/p>\n
Mr & Mrs Coastal Path decided to grow cabbages<\/p>\n
Who were modest and well behaved<\/p>\n
This pissed off the errant Marigolds and as soon as the weather was warm<\/p>\n
They would romp around the garden in all their splendour just for the hell of it<\/p>\n
This made the cabbages green blush to the delight of the orange flowers<\/p>\n
Mr Coastal Path who had been in the army for many years decided enough was enough<\/p>\n
And on a cold November afternoon he dug up all the Marigolds and left them in the garden waste<\/p>\n
This was his big mistake as although most of the Marigolds perished two survived<\/p>\n
And during the harsh winter Marigolds One and Two decided to get their revenge on the world<\/p>\n
They waited until Spring and whilst Mr & Mrs Coastal Path were on a weekend break in the Isle of Wight<\/p>\n
They booked their tickets away from Surbiton towards the USA<\/p>\n
Their destination were the Badlands where Charles Starkweather had conducted his killing spree<\/p>\n
But before they left they poisoned all the other plants in the garden with weed killer<\/p>\n
And chopped the holy cabbages into pieces with a swiss army knife<\/p>\n
They even torched the postcard from the Isle of Wight that Mr & Mrs Coastal Path had sent to their garden<\/p>\n
Within weeks they were in Nebraska and Wyoming and started their killing spree immediately<\/p>\n
Two drive in garden centres and an ornamental garden were shot to death on consecutive days<\/p>\n
And the governors garden was poisoned with a nerve agent that had been stolen from a local hardware store<\/p>\n
It was during this robbery that Marigold One was shot by a security cactus and seriously injured<\/p>\n
Both Marigolds laid low for a while although they were connected with the needless slaughter of some strawberry plants<\/p>\n
In a motel garden not far from Bennet Nebraska in the fall of that year<\/p>\n
The FBI took an interest in their case and agents begun to track their movements<\/p>\n
Mr and Mrs Coastal Path who had been appalled by the senseless slaughter in their Surbiton garden also helped<\/p>\n
They supplied a number of photographs of Marigold One and Marigold Two’s naked romps as well as views of Epping Forest<\/p>\n
This was the breakthrough that the cops needed and after a robbery at a garden centre in Gibsland Louisiana<\/p>\n
The Marigolds were shot to death by a posse of lawmen especially chosen for the job<\/p>\n
Their car was riddled with bullet holes and various kinds of weed killer as well as deadly slug pellets<\/p>\n
The Marigold’s remains were incinerated at a nearby rubbish dump and great care was taken to ensure that they did not seed during their final journey<\/p>\n
But in the last few months there have been a number of reports of garden attacks both in the Badlands of Nebraska and Surbiton England<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
To be continued with The Legend of Marigold Three check your listings for details<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mr & Mrs Coastal Path grew Marigolds in their small garden The Marigolds resented this as they wanted to explore the world So they romped naked around the garden to upset the neighbours In view of this and the complaints from both sides of the road Mr & Mrs Coastal Path decided to grow cabbages […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4495"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4495"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4495\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4495"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4495"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4495"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}