{"id":4503,"date":"2020-09-20T13:17:01","date_gmt":"2020-09-20T12:17:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartpoetry.art\/?p=4503"},"modified":"2020-09-20T13:17:50","modified_gmt":"2020-09-20T12:17:50","slug":"earthworm-expert","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2020\/09\/20\/earthworm-expert\/","title":{"rendered":"Earthworm Expert"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>I am an oligochaeteologist which in short means that I am expert on earthworms<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Most of us ignore earthworms and shy away from them without thought<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Women especially do not like earthworms as they remind them of a flaccid penis or worse<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Malevolent children cut these wonderful creatures in half but this does not kill them<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>They are God&#8217;s chosen creatures as they are silent and unassuming and most of the time are hidden from view<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I like to share my bath with a maximum of earthworms but you will not join me when I cleanse myself<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>You stand there naked with a look of disgust on your face and cover your cunt tightly with your hand<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Although you love me dearly you do consider me strange but our sex is great although you always lock the door<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Do you realise that the last creature that Jesus saw when he died on the cross was a weeping earthworm<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I am sure that there are earthworms in Heaven but God has not revealed this to me yet<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>There are times when I am out in the sun that I believe that I am turning into an earthworm<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>My skin roughens yet is still moist and this brings me an intense feeling of happiness<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>But my joy is filtered a little when you tell me that you think that you are turning into Blackbird<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>And that feathers have replaced your underarm hair<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am an oligochaeteologist which in short means that I am expert on earthworms Most of us ignore earthworms and shy away from them without thought Women especially do not like earthworms as they remind them of a flaccid penis or worse Malevolent children cut these wonderful creatures in half but this does not kill [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4503"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4503"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4503\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4503"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4503"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4503"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}